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Well I have had a varied couple of days recently. On Sunday, I went to Kobe with Reiko`s family and ate some strange dishes I had takoyaki which you make yourself. This is basically Octopus pancake balls. It is quite tricky to make as you only get a small coctail stick to swivel them around in their little hollows but was delicious. I have had these many times before as they are an Osakan delicacy but I have never made them myself. We did some shopping around and then in the afternoon, we had Kobe beef. When the cows are alive, they are given beer to drink so it makes their meat more tender (I wonder how tender my meat is) ooh err. The chef cooks it right in front of you with what loｏｋ like two wall paper removers but it was ｓｏ ｇｏｏｄ - definitely the best beef I have ever had in my life.

That night I didn`t sleep until six I just couludn`t sleep. I ended up finishing the Harry Potter book by reading about 550 pages. I finally got to sleep at 6 in the morning after listening to dogs and cats on heat, paper delivery people on motorbikes - Motorbikes in the morning I ask you - and the dawn chorus.

I learnt some more japanese words though. I took it upon myself to try and train their unruly dog with a ball and I learnt osuwari which means sit down you bloody bastard of a dog or I`ll……..

On Tuesday I tried looking for a job with Reiko at a job centre. I was told it would be better if I went to the city centre one as they would have more jobs for foreigners there as well as people who could speak English. It`s both good and annoying that Reiko has to pretty much communicate for me all the time. It makes my life easier but I do feel very powerless some times. The Japanese often start talking to me and asking me questions and I just ususally smile and point at her to do all the talking. We are going to the job centre tomorrow which is is a shame as I am on a working holiday visa and so the holiday part of this may be about to come to an end.

After the job centre, we went to the batting centre where you pay 200 yen which is a quid for 28 balls which get thrown at you by the mechanism and you try to hit the damn thing. Being brought up on football and cricket, baseball is quite a tricky thing to adapt to. I went on the slowest one and achieved I wopuld say a hit rate of about 30 per cent　a decent hit rate (where the ball actually goes high and far) of about 15 per cent.

i　am knackered more later aha

Well the interview didn`t go so well. It was only a pre interview one and I had an exit questionnaire in order for my next and final interviwe. It was with this goatee wearing slightly camp and irritated by every word I seemed to speak man. There was another candidate there as well - a nice 30 odd year old bloke from canada but he has been teaching in Japan for ten years and so was immensely qualified. What got me was well actually many things.

1 - I sent Mr interviewer a c.v but he couldn`t find it. This pretty much marked the beginning of the end. He made a big deal about this saying I need your resume. well mr richard you dick it`s not a resume but a fucking c.v. a curriculum vitae you american twat and you already have it. Don`t blame me for your own error.

2 - The bloke from canada was a git. He was a really nice bloke but he asked all the right questions at the right times leaving me with nothing to say. I am sure if the Canadian bloke had enquired after the possiblities of a blow job, Mr interviewer would have been frothing at the mouth with Yes masters and and a lecherous leer. I asked one question which got me some brownies locked up in a wardrobe - can I teach French and German. Oh you speak French and German do you? Yes I do you Canadian git and American wanker by the way so fuck you. ahem.

3 - I have seen a notice in the local Kansai Time Out, which is a magazine in English for Osaka and he is in there asking for prospective new candidates for the job. This is not so bad, I first heard of the job on the Internet in April. What irritates me is that there is no opening and training start until August at earliest and more likely September as they pay so bloody well. Now it is probably good business sense to do this but I am annoyed so bear with me on this one.

4 - I wore a suit. I`m sorry that`s it.

Yes so that`s it. After I was a bit depressed so I met up with Reiko and got a pint of guinness in a English bar The pig and whistle, which cost me 4 quid. That didn`t help either.

I fell asleep at 9 that day. I am still suffering from jet lag. I woke up at four this morning and had to have an afternoon kip for three hours. I am feeling much better now. I have been reading Doraemon which is a Japanese comic about (bear with me on this one) a robotic cat called Doraemon sent from the 22nd Century in a time machine in order to help a young Japanese boy called Nobita with gadgets he can pull out of his fourth dimensional pocket in his stomach. It sounds weird and well it is but it helps cheer me up. I am also reading the new Hary Potter book and I like that too.

I have just been to a karaoke restaurant. This is a new concept for me where you go into a small room for four people and sing your heart out and eat at the same time. This seemed quite bizarre to me but it was a lot of fun. My over the top rendition of My Way and Jailhouse Rock went down well and I managed to slip in a few Beatles` songs as well. They also have songs in Chinese and Japanese aha.

It is 22:15 local time here now and Tomb Raider is on in Japanese. Aha Goodbye

alrighty then it`s seven in the morning here I have an interview for a job this afternoon at four. I am still suffering from jet lag (i had three hours sleep last night and 12 hours today(i got up at 3 in the afternoon yesterday and four this morning) I don`t think I`lll get tho. It`s the best place for teaching you only do about 27 hours a week and get paid shit loads. I think they`ll need someone more experienced or something.

Naked old japanese men Naked old japanese men I went to an onsen again last night and saw more naked old japanese men. i went with Reiko`s parents so getting naked with my girlfriend`s father naked again. These things are really amazing. They`ve got baths where you have jets of water pummel your back and bubble baths - it`s great and saunas and outside baths. You get really hot though but they are natural hot water springs and have lots of minerals in.

As I woke up so late, I didn`t do much else. I took their crazy beagle Komaru or more accurately it took me/dragged me along for a walk. It is a really crazy dog as they take it for a short walk early in the morning and then tie it up all day so it seeks attention. I tried to run with it to get it to use up it`s energy whilst it tried to attack the neighbourhood dogs. It was fun.

Reiko saw her friend maki who has two kids called lion and tiger(japanese names are cool) and a husband. He husband goes surfing and plays football in a local five a side team and has lost their last eight games in a row. I`m thinking if they are that shit, I can join them and be their star international on loan striker ahahahahaha the possibilities………

On Wednesday I woke up at twelve. We went into the city centre and tried to open an account with a bank UFJ but I need a stamp thing. It`s like a slim cylinder the shape of a pencil which has your name in chinese characters on the bottom and you ink it and stamp on official forms as a further id thing. It seems a bit pointless to me that you can`t open an account unless you have one but we`re in japan and they are differently aligned.

So Reiko opened one using her stamp and then we went to a cheap noodle restaurant (Reiko`s family love food) and then we went to get Reiko a mobile at the vodafone shop. They said I could get one too as they are all free as contract mainly in Japan. So we both got the coolest one there which is a Toshiba V401T which you can watch Japanese TV,listen to the radio, it has a video camera of up to 12 minutes 20 seconds and a normal camera as well as being able to access the internet and send emails. Have a look here http://www.mobilemag.com/content/100/340/C2707/ I love this phone.

In the evening we went to a Yakitori bar. It is a traditional Japanese bar except you have to order food as well. They don`t just drink there. The last time we went there the bloke (dressed in traditional Japanese robes and bandana) behind the bar who owns it with his wife who waitresses, would shout out what he was giving you with such ceremony and a bow (SKEWERED CHICKEN IF YOU PLEASE) which was so funny but he didn`t do it this time as his wife (Damn her) gave us our food.

Then it was back to home for more oolon hai and bed aha

Alrighty then lets give this a go. My name is Simon, I am 24 and I have just started to live in Japan with my girlfriend Reiko. I can speak French and German and I`m hoping to learn some Japanese here and teach some English in order to pay for it.

So, Monday 21st June I left my landlord`s house to get a coach to Heathrow to get a plane to Frankfurt to change there to Osaka Japan. A total of too bloody long travelling. We landed at 8 local time which is 8 hours ahead of GMT absoluteley knackered. Unfortunately as it was eight in the morning Tuesday it was just the start of the day and due to events planned by Reiko`s parents, I wouldn`t be able to get to sleep until 2 at night local time.

It was 23 degrees at eight in the morning and only got hotter during the day. I`ve been bitten by loads of mosquitos as well. At night it sounds like I have tinnitus as the insects grasshoppers and mosquitos make their noise sssssssssssssssss like tv static all night.

The first thing we did after getting back to the house was to go to an onsen which is a public bath where it`s split into male and female areas and everyone gets naked and goes into different sorts of baths,showers and saunas. I`m English so this is quite tricky and besides the multitudes of naked old Japanese men and the fact that I`m the only western bloke in there made it even more unnerving. Reiko`s family love these though and they are really relaxing. Oh naked old men.

We had a meal at a Japanese-Italian fusion restaurant that evening which was lovely. Then we went home and drunk some oolon-hai (i think it`s spelled like that) which is Japanese spirit with tea drunk with ice. I was a bit drunk.