If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Reiko had her job interview today.  It went okay she said.  She was quite modest about it saying how she doesn`t reckon she has got the job (six people in last interview etc.) but from what she says she has done very well.  I don`t really want her to get a job but to help me along in Japan instead.  If she gets a job I will be permanently lost. 

I went with her to her interview today and waited for her in the general local area whilst she had it looking like an American backpacker.  Unfortunately, it was very hot. I was walking about wearing a short sleeved shirt with a T-shirt in 35 degree heat.  I could not keep this up for long.  An hour of constant walking later,  Reiko called me on my phone - where are you?  This is a very good question indeed.  Well Reiko there is a grey building which says something in Japanese writing in front of me.  To my right is another building which I am cunningly unable to understand once more and to my left is yet another nondescript building with Japanese qualifications on its exterior which I can neither understand nor describe.  Where am I?  You Reiko have a clearer idea than I do.  After 15 minutes of random wandering and telephone calls I hear a “Oh I can see you now” which sounds like a chorus of heavenly angels  to my weary legs and sunburnt ears. 

We then went on a de-stressing mission for Reiko which invloved going to lots of women`s clothes shops and looking at clothes and Yukata (traditional Japanese robes) whilst she tried some on.  This went on for several hours but I was more than willing to put up with this after her ordeal today.  Considering my most trying task was trying to relocate Reiko, she was much more the deserving case and deserved to do what she wanted.  We then went to Karaoke where I sang a Beatles medley which went on for fifteen minutes, then 99 Luftballons and Son of a Preacher Man interspersed by Reiko`s offerings.  For an hour this came to five pounds or 1000 yen for the both of us including my three straight double whiskys and her alcoholic tea drinks.  I prefer going to Karaoke than bars as you can get pissed cheaper and sing at the same time.  On average a drink in a a bar costs 500 yen or two pounds fifty.   You can get an hour`s karaoke including drink for that, it doesn`t seem worth it. 

Tomorrow I am going surfing with Tommy although Reiko doesn`t want to go as she hates the beach and always gets left with the kids.  Tomorrow a typhoon is also scheduled to hit Osaka (my first one) which could mean an interesting surfing experience (surfs up dude!) or the end of my blog and life.  Bring on the danger!!!

Yes well again I haven`t really done much different or of note. I saw Shrek 2 finally in the cinema which was okay I guess. I also ate some sushi today. It used to be that I would eat it and it would be one of those foods that you can eat without particularly enjoying much. Now I love the stuff. Eel,salmon, squid, prawn sushi etc. I love them all. I also like seaweed a lot now too. You get it here in thin strips dry it has this weird peppery taste which comes whilst you eat it. Some sushi is fish with rice wrapped in seaweed you know. There`s the link.

I have now read almost all of the fity six short stories and four novels of Sherlock Holmes in about three weeks. In these books, women are portrayed as the main reason behind all forms of crime. I got interested in them thanks to the excellent book The mysterious incident of the dog in the night-time where the boy narrator talks about The Hound of the Baskervilles. The mysterious incident of the dog in the night-time is in fact a quote itself from a Sherlock Holmes mystery. There`s the link.

The job hunting still hasn`t restarted since the rebuff from the interview. (I don`t take criticism well okay? Boo hoo sob sob) I have been checking English language Japan magazines for adverts. On Sunday there is the (allegedly) largest firework show in the world which is right near to Reiko`s house. Reiko has her third job interview tomorrow. I hope she gets it. On Monday we waited for her during her interview in Starbucks right in Osaka centre. In one of the English language Japan magazines, there was a copy of a Japanese article which basically amounted to a stalkers guide for Japanese women of how to meet foreign boys and where they hang out. In this Starbucks there were populous amounts of Americans. Starbucks was mentioned in the article. There`s the link!

Right sorry for this awful stream of consciousness blog. You have to live through the lows of my reports as well as the highs you know. I don`t take criticism well okay (Boo hoo sob sob) There`s the (okay I`ll stop that now)

So nothing really has happpened that was different than before.  Reiko did really well in her job interview.  So well that whilst she was on the train to meet us in the city centre they called her back for a second interview straight away and now she has a third interview on Thursday.  This puts my interview with Berlitz in perspective since I haven`t had any news since June.  Good luck Reiko again!

And that`s about it.  I bought a Sherlock Holmes collection from a bookshop with English books in, watched some more Michael Moore and visited some more Onsen.

So I thought I would teach you some Japanese.  These words are how they sound and not how they are spelled but anyway.

Hai      Yes
iyeah [sounds like yeah]  No
Arigato  Thanks
Doe Itashimashitay You are welcome
Sumimasen  Sorry
Gomenisai Excuse me

Ohio gozaieemass Good morning
Kon ban wah Good evening
Oi sumi Good night

Atsui  It`s hot
Sumitai It`s cold
desu ne[sounds like nay]  Isn`t it
Chotto Matte    Wait a minute

Tadakimasu     I gratefully receive this meal
Oishee     delicious
Gochi so sama deshita  That was truly a gourmet meal
Biru nomimasen ka?     Won`t you drink some beer
tabimasen ka?  Won`t you eat?

Simon wa doko desu ka?  Where is Simon?

This is pretty much my entire Japanese vocabulary which I have survived on for 4 weeks.  Ahahahahahaha!

So yesterday and today is festival time in Osaka.  Yesterday was the pre-carnival carnival and today is the carnival.  We went to the pre-carnival one last night which was a lot of fun.  It took us a long time to find it as it wasn`t in the city centre.  We eventually found it after taking directions from a elderly three foot midget from Osaka who even Reiko towered over.  

It was very colourful and very similar to the Chinese new year version with dragons and the like parading around whilst young maidens with colourful parasols dressed in ancient kimonos dance along in formation to drums and cries of SOLAY.  These people do this for three hours in thirty three degree heat, which is very impressive.   After we had had as much SOLAY as we could take, we went to karaoke for half an hour which cost four quid each for half an hour but with as much free drink as you could take.  Ahahahaha!

Today I went to the beach with Tommy and the family whilst Reiko took her TOEIC exam.  It is an exam for English which you need to have if you want a job speaking English.  She said she hasn`t done very well as it was very quick fire and it was hard to keep her  concentration up but I reckon that she is employing typical Japanese modesty and she has done fine.  I know she can speak English well enough.  She won`t find out for forty days though.  She`s also got her job interview tomorrow and is feeling a bit stressed. Awwww.  Good luck Reiko. 

At the beach we went shell collecting again.  Tommy brought along the scuba gear and cunningly enough a full on five foot long fishing spear complete with sharp prongs for spearing fish with.  He takes it very seriously indeed.  I think its the male hunter gatherer thing.  Once again my fish catching and shell locating abilities left a lot to be desired but I did manage to locate a rather nice pair of sunglassses for myself which I think is much more impressive than a couple of miniscule salty shells.

After the beach (and as according to tradition) we went to the game centre in order to play arcade pachinko.  The samurai pachinko machine which I have previously mentioned and which had given me so much success in the past today I felt was laughing at me.  I would get the left and right slots aligning and on to the crazy Japanese aninmation but then these always went wrong.  The samurai`s assistant would pull down the wrong symbol from the attic or the ancient guitarist`s guitar strings would break or the woman fanning the symbols along would run out of steam and collapse.  As you can imagine this would result in much banging and a large amount of English swear words.  But today I was defeated. And sunburnt.

Today has been a very quiet day which I really needed.  Last night I couldn`t get to sleep until three in the morning.  I was reading books and watching The Awful Truth which is relatively early Michael Moore until I felt tired enough to turn the light out.

Today Reiko`s friend Maki came round at about four with her kids Dragon (Lyoma) and Tiger (Kotaro)  I hope I have the spelling correct.  Reiko put on A bug`s life which she had bought in China for 30p I would guess and this kept me happy whilst the kids were entertained by other things.  I felt very at one with children today.  Lyoma calls me Mimon and he always asks Mimon wa?  which means where is Simon even if I am just next door.  The kid is cool.  The younger kid stretched out his arms to me which meant he wants me to hug him ahahahahaa aww [retch retch.] It is very strange hugging other people`s children.  I felt at peace. Nevertheless I do not want kids for a long time yet.  It`s mainly the nappies and the loss of all freedom.  But mainly the nappies.  I can deal with other people `s kids.  The parents end up doing the messy part.  I just kick a ball around for a bit and I`m just as entertained as they are.  Simple minds….

I have been taking the dog for walks in order to make sweeps of the local area in case of kidnap/disorientation and for excercise.  I can recognise my way from four different areas now.  I love their dog.  It is called Komaru and is crazy.  It gets tied to a post all day (as is normal in Japan it seeems) and though it gets walked twice a day, is an attention seeker.  I have been trying to instill some English discipline into it to varying degrees of success.  It is really dangerous walking in Japan.  They have hardly any pavements even in residential areas and the roads are really narrow.   When you have a crazy beast on the end of a long leash, things can get interesting.  It`s almost as if they are punishing you for not driving a car.  All Japanese cars are automatic ones for some reason that I don`t understand.  Aren`t they able to drive as well as everybody else?  Can`t they be bothered with the effort?  Too much time spent watching the on board DVD player?

Reiko has a job interview on Monday for a job which involves English and or French and Japanese.   It is buying and selling things for a French company`s Japanese division of sportswear.  I think I should be having the interview as I wrote her C.V and covering letter in English for her.  I asked her if she wants me to do the job as well but she said she could do it fine enough.  She reckons she will be on 20 grand a year which is quite nice thank you very much.  I told her I can experience the Japanese culture and she can work, come home and cook and clean for me.  I think that was quite fair but she wasn`t having any of it so it looks like I will have to get a job soon.  What is worrying is what will happen if she gets a job and I don`t.  Or if I get a teaching job as these are mostly in the evenings.  What will I do all day?  Suggestions please.

Today we went to a Brazilian restaurant.  That is myself, Reiko, her sister Masako and their mother.  We all ordered food (mostly beef with something) and it all arrived and then the problems began. 

Compared to normal Japanese portions these meals were large.  I am unsure whether they have ever eaten anything as big as this.  I am sure if you go to Brazil, America or even England and ate these portions, they would be standard at the least, but  here where a couple of slices of raw fish stuck to some rice and wrapped in a thin slip of seaweed constitute a meal, I knew we would have problems. 

And so it began,  “This chicken is too salty  can you eat it?  I can`t eat all this can you take my half of beef and pork.  Here is some fish for you”  Only her mother was kind enough to admit that she couldn`t eat it all and left some on the plate.   I chose beef curry with the portion of beef taking up at least 50 per cent of the plate for the main reason that the menu was in Portuguese as well as Japanese and Bife Curry was the only meal there which  I could understand.  I noticed as well that this meal came with both rice and chips on the same plate.

So I got to work.  Saving the chips for later, I ploughed into my plate thinking of the shame that might come to my beloved home land should I fail in my Herculian task and leaving at the end, a sparklingly clean plate that any fairy liquid advert would be proud to show as the end product. 

The only thing is that I felt like Mr Fattety Fatman Esquire from Fatdom Lardoland after the deed had been done.  I acknowlege that calling me fat is an insult to the weighty traditions of the horizontally challenged but after seeing their almost sickened faces by my actions, I almost had the urge to go to the toilets and recall the evidence through the way it had come in in shame.  This almost occurred when we went to pay as there was a glass window giving sated customers the opportunity to see raw meat being cut up and packaged off for resale - A sight I did not want to witness.  I exited as soon as I could….

Later that day we went to a….well how to describe it?  It was a kind of shopping/ leisure centre which had a massive rollercoaster going through it.  Because I had promised Reiko some months ago that I would never take her on a rollercoaster without her consent again after  reducing her to tears on a ride in England thinking that her cries of “No I do not want to go on this ride I hate rollercoasters” were in jest, I went on it with her sister instead.  It was a good ride with a very hallucinogenic section involving a tunnel and some swirling mulicoloured strobe lights. 

Today is Eel day.  Everybody eats eel today. This makes me happy as I like eel.   I got treated like a panda today though when I ate eel.  The people on the table next to us in the eel restaurant said in Japanese and very loudly to Reiko “He uses chopsticks (hashi) well doesn`t he”  Pretending not to understand I carried on eating.  “Is he American?” and so on.  Fortunately we were finishing our meal and so could exit quite quickly.  Reiko (who loves being the centre of attention) is getting irritated by this as well as I am (unwillingly) often the centre of attention.  I hate being stared and talking to people I don`t know. 

I am getting used to being a panda now though.  When children see me they will often stand rooted there in surprised schock with open mouth gawping at me with their parents ushering them away before I inflict any pyschological damage on them by just being there.  This often happens with older people as well.

However, I am becoming a master of knowing what someone is talking about (or more importantly if somebody is talking about me) by only understanding a few words.  If I here the words Aygo (English), Igirisujin (English person) gaigokujin (foreigner) etc. I know I`m being discussed and can sit there pretending not to understand.  This can make me quite paranoid as well. If I here a Japanese speaker say Simon, babble on for a bit in Japanese and then everybody starts laughing it can be very unnerving.  A lot of their words are English words adapted or the same in English and so I can often understand what is going on by only understanding that word (Karaoke, Frisbee, Game Centre, )

Yesterday in Tokyo the temperature got to a record 39.5 degrees and it was 30 degrees in the night time.  Fortunately in Osaka it`s (only) around 35 degrees in the daytime.  But we are still in sweat whilst standing, lying down and walking territory. I go through two T-shirts and have two cold showers every day.  It`s still not enough. 

I did karaoke yesterday.  I really love it in Japan.  Instead of singing in front of 50 people you don`t know, you go into a small soundproof room in your group (two to twenty) and sing your heart out for a bit and it`s a lot more fun.  You also get a selection of free drinks included.  We went in one for an hour and I had three whisky`s and Reiko had her oolong hai drink and it came to three quid each.  Unfortunately after that, I was in the mood for drinking and went off and had a tequila in a bar and was pretty rat arsed and brought shame upon the Shiraishi family….

Oh yes I ate whale too.  It is bloody nice.  Does that make me a bad person?
 

Well I haven`t written anything for six days so I thought I should at least put down what has happened, yet it isn`t as interesting as octopus attacks and earthquakes.  Anyway do you really want to know what I had for breakfast or how many showers I had today?

 
I have also read all the books I mentioned earlier apart from the Pride and Prejudice one as I could not be arsed with it.  Sample quote..
 
 ” . . it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?”
 
Shut up. Get over it!  get over it get over it get over it!  I didn`t like it very much.  I recommend all Sherlock Holmes books though.  I got out Huckleberry Finn today .  Yes.
 
We also went to a place where you pay 100 yen (fifty pence) for fifteen minutes and once you are in there everything is free. They have a large arcade machine area, karaoke, billiards and much more.  I like these.  We stayed a couple of hours.
 
We also went to the Working Holiday Association office.  Which is the association for people who have the visa I have.  Instead of paying the five quid they asked for registration, we took all the free stuff there like magazines about the Osaka region and what`s going on in it - music, events and jobs and got out of there as quickly as possible.  The Americans are starting to annoy me. They write most of the articles here in these magazines. I can`t place why they irritate me yet though.  It is probably an irrational fear of them expressed in hatred. Who knows.  Psychoanalysis available cheaply at…..    The thing is I met an Australian at this place and not an American.  Maybe they write these articles and I am scared/hate them?  Who knows.
 
One thing that is really getting on my nerves is cicada .  I really hate them.  I used to hate maybugs in England but these are larger and scarier.  In the morning in between the dog barking, I here a (very loud)tshhhhhhhhwhooahstshhhhhhhhhhhh sound constantly which wakes me up This is them.  When I know how to put sound recordings here, I will record the bastards.  They will all die by my hands.  Look at the ugly bastards go. I hate them.  We also have moist cockroaches and mosquitos by the thousands as I have already mentioned.  Japan, as well as being the future is insect heaven.
 
So as you can see I haven`t really done that much that is different.  I have watched the rice fields grow, watched rivers dying of thirst in the 35 degree heat, taken on average two cold showers a day, drunk alcoholic tea and been bewildered by Japanese television.  All incredibly different to what I have done in the past but mundane in the best sense of the word.  I like Japan though. At the moment I don`t want to leave.

So recently I have been doing many things. For example, when I first arrived in Japan, we thought it would be a good idea to go to a meeting for foreign people living in Japan to get to know each other so I wouldn`t feel so isolated. Three weeks later and I don`t feel that isolated but it was time to go on Sunday and so I went with Reiko.

There were about 30-40 people there of many nationalities - Thailand(ese?), Korean, Chinese, Nepalese, South African, Jamaican, English (me aha) and Japanese. In fact there were about 15 Japanese people, which seems a bit pointless when you are trying to meet foreigners but there you go. We at first had to stand up and introduce ourselves, which I hate doing anyway. Reiko told me some phrases to say so I managed to say in Japanese -Hello, my Japanese is not so good, my name is Simon and I am English, pleased to meet you) Then after that we had about half an hour where we went around and met lots of people. I met a woman who worked on the local council who had a husband who was a German professor at the local university and who might be able to get me a job (networking aha.) I also met the South African and Jamaican guys who lived in Kobe as car scrap merchants and were really funny.

Then suddenly the organisers said could everyone sit down and shut up as we were to listen to the Nepalese bloke play some pipe music.　　I had met the Nepalese bloke already. He was a really nice person and spoke flawless Japanese after living in Japan for only a year. He had changed into traditional costume and got his pipes out and a machine which he switched on.

This machine repeated the sound Ning..Nong over and over again. He introduced himself and proceeded to play on his pipe. He wasn`t bad but imagine if you will with me. Close your eyes and play in your head Ning..Nong slowly over and over again with some simple pipe melody repeated over and over again as well. Then, just when you think he will stop and await the applause, he either a) introduces a new melody which he repeats over and over again for another ten minutes or b) stops and gets a smaller pipe and plays similarly tiresome melodies over the droning Ning..Nong machine. I was wondering if he was trying a group hypnotism experiment. I felt like I was going under - I checked my wallet afterwards but it was still there.

So after forty minutes of this (and only three songs), the Japanese bloke he had come in with and who was taking photographs for posterity, made a brave decision and told him in a nicer way than I could have managed that we had suffered enough. We all politely clapped and breathed an inward sigh of relief. I was glad that I could get back to talking with people but fate had other plans for me.

After the forty minutes of Nepalese pipe music, we were to be treated to an amateur opera performance by a slim middle aged women. She was able to get very high notes　which was amusing as she ha ha heed her way through some Japanese songs. There were fortunately only two of these songs and then it was time for the group rendition..

Close your eyes and imagine if you will again, an A4 sheet of white paper with Japanese characters written on it. Remember kind reader, that this is a meeting for people who are not Japanese and yet no thought had been taken for those who could not read or write in the beautiful and flowing scripture which is the Japanese language. Does it strike only me as strange that such a thoughtless act could have occurred? Reiko and I were sitting at either end of the South African and Jamiacan guys, who were called Johnny and Johnston and none of us save Reiko could speak Japanese. Fortunately she transcribed it into English letters so that we were all Ryo Shiri and Hyo Kara-ing away with the best of them to gasps of amazement from the natives. We all nodded sagely and continued..

Now I thought the point of this meeting was to get to know foreigners living in the Osakan area and not to sit in silence listening to droning Nepalese pipe music and amateur renditions of Japanese opera songs. To cap it all there was a game of bingo and after completing a line, I had to fight my way through round after round of Paper Scissors Stone to claim my prize which turned out to be liquid soap. Is there some message here? Do Japanese people have something to say about my hygiene? Bring it on.

There were some positive points to be drawn from this. I met Jonny and Johnston who live in Kobe and were good people and I met this incredible old blind Japanese bloke who spoke good English and was really funny but the point of the meeting was to meet foreigners and not give some people an ego trip.

Anyway, before I was a novice in the wonders of Nepalese pipe music, I went with Reiko, Tommy, Maki, Tiger and Dragon to the beach where we went around in the ocean looking for things to eat in the sea. Tommy went out for shells and showed me where to look and he went off in deep concentration. I on the other hand and in competitive mood, went on the search for fish. With my bare hands, I attempted to catch the fish in the sea but I had no success. I eventually found some mussel like things from some seaweed which were easy pickings.

Then I picked up a stone about the size of a ping pong ball which had some seaweed grwing on it and found out it was a hermit crab. I was loathe to put it in my pocket due its large pincers and so chucked it back. Then came my good fortune.

I found a jam jar on the floor and picked it up. Inside it were some mussel like things again but more interestingly an octopus about the size of my hand. It was purple and had suckers on its thick and slimy tentacles. I was taken aback with shock and my mind raced as I tried to remember if they were poisonous or not. Then it suddenly woke up and decided to exit as soon as possible. Endulge me once more dear reader and make your thumb and forefinger on your left hand meet and make a cylinder with your remaining fingers the size of a jam jar. Then thrust your right hand throught the cylinder and wiggle your fingers around the top of the jar. Short of being semi-naked and in the middle of an ocean you are now in the position I was in. After deciding that I wasn`t going to take the risk of injury, sting or poison, I let go of the jam jar and the creature swam away never to be seen again.

On a more serious note, I have also been trying to learn Hiragana which is one of the Japanese character systems. These are very ugly letters and hard to draw as well as not being nearly as sleek as the Katakana ones. For example AH あ in Hiragana compared to SHI シ　in Katakana. I hope you can see this okay. I prefer Katakana as they seem more stylish and are easier to draw. You try drawing あ　-it`s hard) In a bookstore, Reiko bought me a childrens` learn to write Hiragana book and I am working my way through that at the moment. I can recognise about ten of these characters at the moment.

I have also spent all of today in a very famous onsen in Wakayama (I think.) The water is like silk - very very smooth I went with Tommy and his family and Reiko and her mum. We split up and I repeated six or seven times the pattern of dry Sauna for ten minutes ice bath for five. I like it there,

As I have been writing this, we have just experienced an earthquake. It measured three on the Richter scale and the television programme was interrupted with notification. It wasn`t a massive one.　There was a rumble and the earth shook a bit (ahaha.) Reiko asked me if that was an earthquake (which is a stupid question to ask seeing as I have never been in an earthquake before.) I said it was a probably a heavy truck going past outside because that what it felt like and then a couple of minutes later the announcement came on tv.