If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

I don`t know why I called this blog Simon goes undercover in Japan. I mean I stick out like a black man at a Klu Klux Klan meeting. I`m a foot taller than most of them, fair skinned and dressed like a stereotypical American backpacker in T-shirt, shorts and sandals, I can`t pass for a Japanese person. When I walk in the street, I often get double looks as if it is incredible that there are people in this world who aren`t Japanese. When I am in the onsen bathing, I get looks of incredulity from children as if I am from another planet and looks of bewilderment from the older and oldest of men that I found out that there were places like those and inwardly swearing to slit the throat of the one who betrayed the secret.

At least when I lived in France and Germany, I had to open my mouth before my guilty secret could be revealed by my foreign accent and difficulty with advanced grammer and vocabulary. Here even five year old children aren`t fooled. So I am going to change this blog`s name. Any suggestions welcome.

Today Reiko bought me a suit as congratulations and for my new job teaching English. I`ll be the best dressed teacher if not the best teacher there at least. Pictures to come? After that she went to Namba to get HEAT magazine from HMV whilst her mum and I went on a tram to have a look at a famous nearby temple. Her mum is funny and always happy and fun to be with but Reiko`s still safe. There is a famous bridge over a large pond in the temple there which rises and falls really steeply. There should hopefully be a picture of part of the temple below and there will be some above.

I recently had my hair cut a few days ago for the first time since June and the first one in Japan. I was a bit scared of letting them near my hair as the fashions (which seem to suit the Japanese well) aren`t for me. It only cost 1000 yen and was over in 10 minutes. Milestones.

There is a TV program which is like an adult Blue Peter and tells you how to make boomerangs out of postcards and party poppers out of cellophane. It has a website which is in Japanese but if you translate it with Babel or something, it should be all right. It is here. Yay.

Last night I watched Kissing Jessica Stein which is alright. I read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and I`m on the excellent The Three Musketeers. I have also read every Sherlock Holmes story there is. They are excellent. Do I want a medal? Maybe I do.

I got a reply back from the assistant language teaching position I applied for and they have told me that the job is mine. There is an orientation and training day in two days time and then I think it is either the first or fourth of october that I start.

I was worried as at the end of the interview they told me they would send me the contract in the post. After reflection I didn`t know if they actually said they will contact me by post ie. We never want to hear from you again. As the school year ends in March and restarts April in this country with the long summer holiday still there I was worried. My visa expires in June and it would be valuable to have gotten six months experience by March so that I could apply to a decent school who would sponsor my visa onwards for good wages etc.

Anyway I got it and now I can. I reckon maybe I was the only one who applied for the job and so they were desperate and decided to give me a go. But it is a job with money so I don`t care. My own stash of cash ran out ages ago. The job is three days a week only but I get about 12 to 14000 yen a day teaching 35 twelve year olds. I think I will be more scared than they will.

It`s been another few days of normality for Herr Quain you see. Since the excitement of the danjiri my life has been one of onsen, frisbee and Japanese television. Reiko`s grandmother has been poorly recently so her mum went to Yamaguchi to see her. Her mother gets up at around four or five everyday and takes the dog for a walk at that time. As she has gone I kindly (read stupidly) agreed to walk the dog for the last few days. When the dog wants to be walked in the morning he will start moaning and whining loudly. If that doesn`t work, he starts to bark. He is clever enough though to know that too much barking will annoy the family. Reiko`s parents sleep in the room next to where the dog is chained up and he often knocks on the door to wake them up and get his morning walk.

It hasn`t been that bad as I get up at the last moments of nighttime and then as I walk the dog the sun rises and the day begins. It is also warm enough to walk around in shorts and a t-shirt at that time. Today a record was broken as the temperature has risen above 30 degrees for the 89th day this year in Osaka. The problem with morning dog walking is that I can`t get back to sleep easily until about two or three hours later and so wake up again at around midday. But I think I deserve that lie in. Don`t you?

Yesterday I managed to traverse the Osakan railway and subway system on my own in order to get to frisbee in Morinomiya Park in the centre of the city. Milestones. Today being Monday it is National Respect for the Aged day and everybody has the day off. I saw an advert on television for the new Nintendo DS and that`s about all I can think of.

Looking back I notice that I haven`t posted anything since Sunday. This is
because I have been mostly inebriated since then in one way or another.
Today I went for a job interview at the World Trade Centre (Osaka) It is
for an English teacher position teaching classes of 35 11 year olds three
days a week around various schools in Sakai city which is another part of
Osaka. It went alright until the last fifteen minutes when they asked me on
the spot to devise an activity regarding learning the names of animals in
English and they would pretend to be the children. It didn`t go very well
but I think they will give me the job as they seemed a bit desperate for
staff. The office was literally a medium size room with a table, computer
and a phone and two people in it which didn`t give me a very good
impression.

On Tuesday night we went to the preliminaries of a festival where hundreds
of men from many of the 30 various neighbourhoods of Kishiwada City which
makes up a part of Osaka each get together and pull intricately carved
wooden floats around the city. One participant dies almost every year.

On Tuesday night they attached lanterns to the floats and pulled them slowly
around the city. They get drunk, everyone gets drunk. It is pretty and a
lot of fun. But not as fun as the main event. On Wednesday starting from
nine each of the teams takes their float and pulls them to the local Shinto
shrine where they are blessed by a Shinto priest and pray. This lasts until
about one. I went there at about 10 with Reiko. Unfortunately I was
abandoned just before arriving as her and her mum had to go into the city on
business.

This left me looking like no mates Simon on his own. I got myself a good
spot and waited for the floats to come by. Three hours and a nice pair of
lobster red forearms later the people finally arrived. It was literally a
hundred people (from children to old men) to each team pulling long thick
ropes. There are some people on the float itself with pipes, drums and
bells banging along and best of all one crazy man on the top of the roof
whose job it is to direct the pullers and the people who control the rudder
and brakes by signalling with his fans whilst leaping and generally prancing
around on the top. To be there is a very honourable position as well as
being the most dangerous as if the float crashes they get catapulted off and
meet cold hard pavement.

I was stationed on a corner with railings which had sandbags stacked up in
front of it - an ominous sign I only fully appreciated the significance of
when the first of the floats or danjiri came careering around the corner and
almost collided with the sandbags were it not for the people doing the
braking and the bloke on top`s skillful direction. About five came round in
twenty minutes all accompanied by shouts of solyu which I guess means heave
or something like that. Reiko came back a bit after that with some sushi and
a litre can of beer. Yes.

The procession lasts about five hours as it goes all the way around
Kishiwada. They build special grandstands at certain points so you can
watch the fun. It is a very famous, dangerous and crazy festival. School
is cancelled and everyone including those doing the pullling (and myself)
got drunk and had a good time.