If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Chinese man tries to name his son @. Fortunately against the law as he can`t translate it into Mandarin.

Chopstick Quain? Armpit Shiraishi?

All hail the kotatsu the table heater. We are not worthy.

In Japan there is no central heating or fires in houses. This is where the kotatsu or table heater is king. A few days ago the temperature plummeted down to depths where 30 degree temperatures and shorts and sandal wearing times seemed to be distant memories and so the kotatsu was brought out of hibernation. Today a typhoon is coming again and the early warning signs of heavy rains and strong winds were in evidence as I accompanied Reiko to the station and returned drenched.

I have been informed that in winter, it can be cold enough to see your own breath mist up in the air inside a house. The kotatsu is a small table which is about a foot tall. and in two parts. The legs and framework make up the first part and the top table is separate and second. In the framework, there is an heater attached to the electricity cable. Then a heavy quilt is laid over the framework and the tabletop put on the top. You sit on the floor and put your lower body underneath for warmth. They are incredible.

As the room can be so cold, the whole family crowds around it for eating, watching the television and conversing. In fact it`s the only place in the whole house save for the futons which is remotely habitable in cold times.

The above is an excellent article about bike usage in Japan. As I have stated before, bikers in Japan ride furiously on the pavement, weaving in and out of pedestrian`s way whilst gesticulating with umbrellas, mobile phones and cigarettes. They are recognised as a scourge in Japan, even though their use promotes a healthy lifestyle and is good for the environment.

Quoting from the linked article in Japan Times - Sunday October 17th:

According to the law, bicycles are only to be ridden on streets. However, as the number of bicycle accidents increased in the 1970s, the government revised traffic laws to allow bicycles on sidewalks as long as such permission was indicated by signs. According to Kosugi, the law was so vague that the police never enforced it, and so bicycle riders came to think that they were supposed to ride on the sidewalk. Even the police ride on the sidewalk.

Interestingly, mountain bikes and more modern bicycles are rarely seen. Instead, the majority are the standard (read old-fashioned) bicycle with basket in front and contraption for tying extra baggage above the rear wheel, which is more often than not used for seating a passenger. They have a certain charm to them as even the coolest of adolescents ride these standard bikes and don`t look out of place riding them.

The main problem I have with them is the loud spine chilling noise they make when the brakes are engaged. None of them seem to have been oiled in the last year. I am sure bike centres selling WD40 to cyclists must go out of business. If I were of the Michael Moore personality type, I would set up a free oil your bike`s brakes public service in the city centre near a set of busy traffic lights in order to correct as many bikes in the shortest time possible but I`m not and I won`t and therefore I will have to suffer eternally under this, a uniquely Japanese trait.

asahi king of beers
Originally uploaded by quaisi_productions.

This is my favourite beer in Japan. If you can find it where you are, please buy it. It is the perfect beer.

Today I had the morning off of work so didn`t start until 1:30 although I accompanied Reiko on her walk to the station to work at 8:30. I taught Countries to 12 year olds for two lessons and they were really enjoyable. At the end there is a question time and one of the kids challenged me to an arm wrestle. I tried to say no as I knew I would lose. The teacher crazily didn`t object to open fighting in her classroom so I was forced to fight this eleven year old. I beat him ok although I`m sure I cheated by hooking round and using my extra height as positive force gravity as an aid. Then the class freak pulled up.

Eleven years old and size 27cm feet, clad in sports vest and pretty wide for his age, he challenged me. I had no choice but to accept and risk the loss. I won although I cheated again by using my added height and my shoulder. I had to. I`m sure he was cheating as well as he was hooking my hand round. But I came out with added Kudos. Does it make you feel big Simon that you can beat an eleven year old at arm wrestling? No it doesn`t. It reminds me how I reduced a two year old to tears by proving I could manoeuver a football so well that he couldn`t get the ball back off of me. You sick bastard I hear you cry and you are right. Sorry.

So today was another parade. This time it was in Sakai City. It was okay but full of marching bands and the like which wasn`t very interesting on the whole. Later on the history of Sakai City and it`s port was re-enacted with guns blazing and some Koreans got in on the fun with some dancing. It was very hot again today and the sun hurt my eyes but made it a good day for a parade at least.

After we had got tired of the parade, we went to a batting centre so I could embarrass myself in front of the Japanese at baseball. A machine throws about 25 balls at you at about 50 miles an hour and you are supposed to gracefully swing your thin slip of a stick at it and send them sailing into the distance with roars from the crowd. My first attempt at the batting centre in Komyoike in April http://quaisi.blogspot.com/2004/06/octopus-in-pancake.html wasn`t very successful and this one was worse. The people there must have thought I was American and so found it funny that I couldn`t play one of their national sports. I`ll have to start wearing my England football shirt everywhere again. Or get a T-shirt printed. (Suggestions for slogans below anyone?)

Strike one,strike two, strike three, Strike out repeated over and over again in my head. The one in Komyoike was worse as you have no warning (such as an audible pip or the visual one you would get normally of actually seeing a man proceed in the motions of throwing the ball towards you) until it is released out of a dark hole at high speed and by then it is too late. But a poor workman always blames his tools and all that.

I much prefer watching baseball on television to cricket but having grown up playing cricket I use those techniques learned in the latter to no success in the former. I suppose it is as if you played pool all your life and then tried to learn snooker. The lighter balls and smaller pockets would give you problems. It is a game I want to get good at though. When I played cricket, I preferred bowling, maybe pitching in baseball is my calling.

After the failure of batting we went to my joint favourite onsen. For an explanation of the onsen bathing experience go here.
I have had people send me funny emails laughing at me for spending so much time around naked Japanese men. I don`t think they get the point. Onsen and Sento are places where instead of lying in a small, cramped bath with jarring taps jutting in your back, you can lie in a large variety of enormous baths filled deeply with eternally piping hot water, with saunas and steam baths a mere stone`s throw away. I quickly got over any misgivings of public nudity and have since become an onsen addict as you should too. I treat it like a gym now - Well I do two sets of eight minutes in the sauna with a quick icebath in between, do a couple of sets in the herbal steam sauna and end up with the large pot bath. Okay but how much can you bench press..?

What is the point of sauna`s anyway? They seem to be good for the skin, opening the pores and sweating out all the bad stuff, but the sauna has always seemed a very masculine place to go and so I can`t imagine the armies of Rome, or the large muscular Swedish or whoever invented the damn things sitting around in them going, “Ooooh touch my skin Sven/Maximus/Bob. Isn`t it smooth now we invented these saunas!” If anyone knows I `d be happy if you could tell me. Cheers.