December 30th, 2004 by quaisi
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Today I went to an Udonski (it`s probably not spelled like that) restaurant which is basically big fat and delicious noodles boiled in front of you with temporarily live prawns, vegetables and tofu. It was very delicious. In the afternoon I went to the same supermarket three times in the name of browsing. I don`t mind eating the food but looking at it over and over again isn`t my type of thing. I also ate the green tea latte and green tea based jelly sweet you see below. It was delicious.

In the evening I went to Hub pub which is an English bar (in name only) Everything about it is Japanified from the how many people question you get when you enter, the numbered sign you get when ordering food, small portions and a litre masquerading as a liter. I got to drink (even more expensive than usual) guinness so I was okay.
Also it is New Year soon. The Japanese get five days off now from 29th Dec to the second or third of January instead of Christmas holiday and now is the season for cleaning the house in preparation for the new year and writing and sending New Year cards to your friends wishing them the best for the new year. Tomorrow evening I want to go to a temple and see the New Year in by ringing bells, eating chewy boiled rice paste (every year many old people see in the new year by choking to death on it) and watch the sun come up if possible. Tomorrow read how I saw the New Year in in front of the TV. Zanen..
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December 28th, 2004 by quaisi
Japanese houses are built for the summer. Inevitably the close positioning of the houses together brings shade and coupled with the total lack of heating anywhere in the building makes it ideal for the summer months when the temperature hits plus 35 degrees and I have the novel experience of going indoors to cool down. In the winter however you wonder just what were the Japanese thinking of?
In Western Japan where I am, you do not get snow like there is in spades in the north and the temperature is certainly warmer than England so far. I was told in the summer that Japan gets really cold. This is untrue. In England the temperature does not plunge as low as Sweden, Canada or Iceland but with icy northern winds it`s cold. Here in Japan we do not have those winds at all - the temperature is averaging at a relatively mild 10 degrees and still I sit in this house freezing.
The only heating we have is the kotatsu below and a small fire in the kitchen whose sole purpose is for boiling a kettle. The kotatsu is a heater placed under the low table in the main room with a large blanket covering it to put your legs under to keep warm whilst eating or watching TV. Step out from its protective womb and you are faced with an icy blast of cold air, you can then watch your own breath crystalise and shatter on the floor and feel your own body heat emigrate from your extremities to your vital organs to prevent the onslaught of hypothermia forcing you to rush back in.

In the bedroom there is not a bed but a futon which barely covers your body and is easily displaced whilst you sleep. It`s no wonder the entire Japanese race hasn`t died out from a epidemic of hypothermia, colds and flu viruses. I am accepting donations towards central heating installation, blankets and duvets. Please give generously.
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December 26th, 2004 by quaisi
After having introduced the festival of Christmas to the Shiraishi family, we opened our presents. My favourite is a chunky and beautiful Doraemon alarm clock. That day I cooked a roast dinner for them for the first time. This included my pride and joy of roast potatoes.
It was strange to see Christmas in Japan. I get angry at the people who leave to go back home. I feel it`s like the people who go to university in the week and then go home at the weekend to have their clothes washed by their parents. I feel they`re missing the point of it all.
It was a normal day with people shopping, playing and working.. The only clue to the event was the radio playing festive songs on the radio whilst we were in the car. We bought the ingredients but couldn`t find any stuffing, Christmas puddings or Christmas cakes. There were plenty of Christmas cakes labelled as Christmas cakes but these were different and bizarre although admittedly tasty looking offerings. I wanted a simple fruit cake layered with marzipan and icing. This was impossible. There were cakes with sliced oranges or strawberries or chocolate on them packaged as Christmas cakes. These imposters weren`t good enough.
Today we went to Kobe to see one of Reiko`s father`s family. We went to a Chinese restaurant where we ate my new weirdest meal so far of crab and shark fin soup. It was incredibly thick and delicious. The shark`s fin is mainly gelatine and was really nice. Not as nice as whale (I know, I`m a bad person) but far better than crab`s brain. I can once again recommend this meal. After that we went to Kobe city centre to see the “Illuminarium” Although this brings to mind an aquarium for lights, it is a street in Kobe with lights arranged to look like giant stained glass windows down the street. It was admittedly quite awe inspiring.
There were literally tens of thousands of people from all over Japan who came to see it as it was the last day. Traffic was halted and we were herded like sheep into fencing routing on the actual streets. It took us about 45 minutes to walk about three quarters of a mile through the fencing there were so many peeople. I have some more pictures on my digital camera which aren`t so grainy as this mobile one but you can get an idea of what it was like.

And that is Christmas in Japan. The New Year is far more important to Japanese people and I`ll be wiriting about that as soon as I know what happens. Merry Christmas.
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December 24th, 2004 by quaisi
It`s not hard for a country to embrace the idea of Christmas. Although only a very small proportion of Japanese are Christian, shops from jewellery and department stores to the unlikely car tyre companies have latched onto the idea of this present buying time of year in order to boost sales with staff clad in santa gear accompanied by Christmas carols in Japanese as well as English.
Christmas over the last few years has been seen as a time for parents to give presents for children and a time for young lovers to exchange gifts. This is however changing. The media plays a strong role in this with Christmas specials featuring snow, fairy lights and renditions of carols and covers such as George Michael`s interminable “Last Christmas.” Now it is seen as for anyone and everyone.
I feel like a missionary of the West as with my coming, the Shiraishi family has embraced the festival and we have a tidy pile of presents in the corner. This has never happened before as they have traditionally celebrated only the New Year. Thankfully we haven`t gone as far to erect a paegan fertility symbol in the corner and decorate it with lights and an angel but this may not be unexpected in the future.
All in all the Japanese have embraced it as it is a fun festival no matter what your beliefs. This is a time to give presents, thank those around you and decorate your house with bright lights. It`s no wonder they like it. Merry Christmas.
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December 23rd, 2004 by quaisi
Yesterday was the last day I will work in 2004 and that made me happy. Today is the emperor`s birthday and so everybody gets the day off. they should do that in England with the queen (and maybe in america with the president as well?) therefore we went to a place called Parque Espana. I have now been in Japan for just over six months as well.
It was good although very cold. We went on a traditional japanese tour package that the majority of Japanese take when on excursions and trips abroad. There were the crazy power-hungry women with flags and every single Japanese person had a camera. shooting away at absolutely anything. There was a specially chartered train for the group with a video camera on the front of it with a plasma screen in the carriages giving you live viewing of the route. I`ve talked about how you get more for your money in Japan and this is another example.
When we got there I went on the rollercoaster which had upside down loops and twists. Right at the start the harness holding me in went up a notch and I thought it had come loose and spent the next minute tihnking i was going to die holding the harness as tightly as possible in so it wouldn`t come free. after several tests I realised it was safe and i began to enjoy it more. There was flamenco dancing which was okay and the food was alright but it was too cold.
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December 21st, 2004 by quaisi
I got a strange phonecall from a Matt who is a teacher with the same ALT (assistant language teacher) agency as me last night asking if I would work one evening tomorrow as a kindergarten English teacher for him as he couldn`t make it and the lady was desperate. I am also desperate for work, experience to put on my c.v. and money and so readily agreed. As long as I don`t have to sing anything I`ll be alright….
1 little, 2 little, 3 little indians. 4 little 5 little six little indians….
I went to the school one hour early for a quick introduction and some sort of guidance regarding lesson plans. When the first group of two 5 year olds came in I had to play lego and apologise for not being Matt. As well as that I had to ask them questions like their name and what colour the lego was etc. Of course the sight of a tall Englishman to a five year old is very scary and so they answered only minimally with okay and instead built walls with lego with their backs to me.
After that we played with a fluffy dice. Of course this is much more fun for me and therefore for them as well. “No you can`t have this dice. Leave me alone it`s mine. I`m going to throw it. You can go home. Goodbye.” I could quite happily play with fluffy dice and balls all day long. This attitude made them warm to me. They didn`t realise that I was serious. Well a bit anyway. After that it was the indian songs. I didn`t know the words (10 duh duh duh duh duh duh duh), some of the alphabet, story time “Bald Eagle Bald eagle what do you see?” and time with their mothers.
Their grasp of English was incredible. These kids were five and they could identify and name in English many colours, commands, names and objects with an ease that I could never have mustered in a foreign language at their age. It makes me angry that in England we don`t learn languages until twelve and these children could speak better English at five than my French at 14.
The second lesson was reading practice with a 9 year old. This was an hour of hell. He didn`t enjoy it. He barely talked to me and read words only after I read them for him. In between the silence and his uneasy groaning, he would make bizarre sucking noises through his teeth.
The third lesson was a repeat of the first with two new children who may have been sisters. When one of them learned I wasn`t Matt she burst out crying and the intro part with the lego went badly again but the dice game went really well “I told the others this is my bloody dice.” and after that they were really lovely children.
The owner of the school, which was so small I passed it once on the way there without noticing was frosty with me to start off with but at the end she was happier. I had to do a recording on a machine for the teacher to use at the next lesson - more indian songs and Do you like wasabi? I like wasabi. But she was happy enough to offer me another day`s work in January next year so I am really happy as well.
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December 20th, 2004 by quaisi
Today I finally got kissed by Lady Luck. Luck be a lady tonight…. I won 16000 yen at pachinko after putting in 2000 yen with Reiko. We split it fifty-fifty.
Like a cross between pinball and a slot machine, there was the 8 on the left, the 8 on the right and then 8 in the middle but then the computer screen would cut to a crazy animation involving cartoon characters getting shot out of cannons using parachutes with numbers on. The six one would break and then the seven one would also break and for the first time since I`ve been playing this game on and off in Japan, the last kite with the third 8 wouldn`t break and he would float down to earth with three 8`s and a jackpot for me. I couldn`t believe it.
When this happens you have about five minutes to get as many of the silver balls into a small opening in the bottom centre of the vertical pinball table. For each ball you get in there, many more balls come out. You exchange these balls for prizes and then you take these prizes to a hole in the wall near the building where they are exchanged anonymously and in silence into cold cash.
Gambling for money is illegal in Japan but Pachinko parlours are densely scattered around Japan. They are garishly coloured, noisy and often filled with thick clouds of cigarette smoke. A certain pachinko parlour company puts large gorillas in various poses aka King Kong to distinguish itself. I`ll try and get some pictures.
I won four times in all filling up four trays with balls to make about 80 quid. I said before that I needed to win at this game before I could truly descend (ascend?) to the ranks of pachinko and gambling addict so I have taken the first step on a truly historic path. Hallelujah.
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December 18th, 2004 by quaisi
I had a job interview at a new school today. I love my job now (ie the pay for the hours worked ratio is incredible) but some weeks I work 5 days and others 2 so I want some more stability. I applied for the job Thursday night. Friday afternoon I got a call from a seemingly edgy young man asking if I could have an interview on Saturday. I readily accepted thinking he sounded so needy that the job was guaranteed.
In the interview I managed successfully to avoid my monotone Dalek voice that creeps up on me when I am under pressure as well as not generating popping noises every other word from the side of my mouth due to a tongue drier than the Sahara desert. However I was talking a hundred miles an hour like a coke fiend. They didn`t seem to mind - one of the interviewers was an American and perhaps took it as eccentric English behaviour. They didn`t ask me any interview type questions like why do you think you are best suited for the post? Instead they breezed through the contract and who they were. I don`t find out until January 10th whether or not I have the job. I find out by receiving a phone call. If I don`t get one I haven`t got it. This seems a bit tight but there you are.
On the way there I was getting step by step directions to the school through the mobile and some crazy random American stopped me and asked me if I was Josh. Not the last time I checked I told him and walked on. Later on I found out that bloke was the American who would interview me and Josh was the bloke whose interview was before me. He gets a guided escort and I pay for a 15 minute random mobile phone walk through. It`s this ethnocentrism thing coming into play again…
After the interview we went to a Pachinko parlour where I lost ten quid at five quid a go. Then later we were at another part of Osaka and the temptation got the better of me and Reiko and we had some more goes. I spent about 5000 yen or 25 quid there and lost it there. If you win big there you can easily collect 500 quid. I am like an addict except you usually get addicted after winning big and failing to keep the wins coming. I have played lots of times and have never won anything. I`m not suited to gambling although Pachinko is so much fun. I need more practice and research. Read more about Pachinko through the link below.
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December 16th, 2004 by quaisi
Today I again went to Universal Studios Japan to be force fed how great America is. Don`t get me wrong, I enjoy going to the place. This was my third time there and although I would prefer that Disneyland were next to Osaka, USJ is good enough to have warranted me buying a year`s pass.
When we are there Reiko and I have codewords for different nationalities we spot. This is to prevent us (ie. me) shouting out, “Wow look at that fat American over there! It must be true. They are all born with an inexhaustible supply of hot dogs hooked up to their hands.” Therefore in order to preserve discretion and to enable me to see my next birthday, Americans (and anyone else looking vaguely Western) are therefore known as Elmos and the Chinese (the next most popular group) are known as Spiderman. It`s the USJ theme. Just go with it ok?
Reiko is always surprised that I am unable to tell the difference between a Japanese person and a Chinese one. When she spots any, she will sneer, “Spiderman” at me in a thinly veiled gesture of disgust.
“How the hell can you tell?” I reply bewildered.
“It`s easy. The clothes they wear, their haircuts and make up. It`s so obvious.”
I glance at the innocents she has singled out for inspection and compare them to the hordes of Japanese buried in hats shaped like Jaws trying to bite their heads off and holding garish plastic Sesame Street popcorn holders tightly in their grip and see no distinction at all save that is the last time they will be eating and wearing those items and remain as confused as ever.
We will then walk past them and hear them clucking away in Mandarin and she is proved right. She lived there for five years and so is more finely attuned to these things and the Chinese and Japanese history is not one of cooperation, peace and love and so maybe it is all Japanese that can do this. Maybe they get lessons on it at school? I shall try and perform some tests.
When I was much younger I mistakenly thought that all Asian people (like dogs, cats and birds of the same species) all looked identical. To an extent this is true - relatively small stature, brown eyes and black hair closer to African-American hair than Western. Of course long before I came to Japan I realised this wasn`t true (the same with the animals) and now that I am here I see the great variety of heights and widths, the wildly different hair colours thanks to artificial dyes and the myriad of fashions worn to individualise themselves still further but it is tricky to distinguish between a Japanese person and a Chineseman just as you would I no doubt believe find it difficult to identify the Englishman and a German in a pair or American and Canadian. I`ll have to go run some tests.
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December 16th, 2004 by quaisi
This article was found for me by a good friend of mine. It is from the English magazine The Independent. It is about the inhabitants of the village of Shingo in northern Japan who claim that Jesus didn`t die on the cross but it was his brother Isukuri. Jesus fled to an exile in Northern Japan and a life as a garlic farmer. It makes interesting reading anyway…
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