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We went to a famous Japanese beauty shop in Kyoto the other day and they were selling nightingale bird droppings. What do you use them for?

(picture to follow)

I never heard calling parents “rents” as in the comments sections of my previous posts before. That is one more new thing blogging has given me as well as being a glimpse into interesting people`s lives most of whom are listed on the right. I see people. They`re not dead thankfully but I see them all the same.

So I have been showing my visiting parents out around Kansai. I have also been trying to give them an experience of Japanese culture as well as showing them an endless stream of decaying temples. To this end I have instructed them in the art of Pachinko AKA Japanese pinball gambling, taken them to karaoke for two hours and tried to accustom their tongues to Japanese food. In a plan to make them warm to eating sushi we went to an izakaya and ordered sashimi or raw fish. Of course they loved it. We ate sushi in the place where my first ever meal in Japan was last March. It was pulled off with varying degrees of success.

The cherry blossom is out in force at last with fat fluffy pink clouds covering Japan. This is a picture of the beautiful stuff I managed to get.

Far and away the best thing at the Aichi World Expo is the Toyota robot show. Nothing else comes close to seeing a five piece humanoid shaped robot brass band with drums playing “When the Saints go marching in.” The most impressive thing was watching the robot drummer drum away on the electronic drum kit attached to his body. More scary was the robot “rapper” with helium-laced Japanese voice. Not being able to understand whether he was saying “I`m the coolest damn robot there ever may be - wiggity wiggity.” or “Bow down to me now foolish mortal humans else feel the heat of my ray gun.” leant a certain menace to the otherwise innocuous proceedings. This we shall see is the one worrying trend when confronted with robots at the the Expo.

Take for example the exhibit on the right. Meant as a toy for children that responds in certain ways when rubbed or stroked. Yet a closer glance reveals sinister undertones. The boy is being held back by an assistant or parent, note also the vacant robotic eyes . Of course I may be wrong. I see horror in clowns. Besides an even closer look at the robot reveals it`s similarity (and possible dual purpose) to a rice cooker.

Hundreds of countries are represented there each with there own large room/small warehouse exhibiting present technological achievements, future hopes for the world and in the case of Australia a massive platypus. England`s one was of course the best (Of course :-)) including a large computer generated book you turned with your hands, spiderman climbing the gherkin in London and best of all a free paper leaf in an effort to remind you to conserve and be eco friendly. The French pavillion had an excellent film showing different parts of it on four walls and the ceiling showing how humans were destroying the world as we have all seen a million times however conveniently glossing over any rainforest destruction in French controlled countries and also featuring a truly heartbreaking life account from a ten year old African boy left to fend for himself on city streets of how the world had neglected him.

The best pavillions were often the smaller or poorer countries such as Sri Lanka which had people weaving stuningly ornate carpets and tapestries from vivid strands and chiselling decorative faces out of wood. I didn`t get to see the American pavillion as they had decided to place their lot on a far corner of the massive site. I fully intend to go again (it runs until late September) and visit it though.

In my opinion Miss Fish, the Aichi World Expo is far better than a school trip to Spa Land. The day out, although necesitating six separate train journeys and requiring me to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, ranks up there with the danjiri and the sumo as one of the highlights of my stay here in Japan. If you are coming to Japan or live here you`d be a fool not to go.

For not blogging I am sorry. It is similar to what happened with Akijikan`s blog when he had an excellent week when his girlfriend visited and so didn`t have any time for blogging leading me to think he had died. I realise this goes against Tony Pierce`s near biblical rules of blogging but I feel I owe an apology to my small yet loyal band of readers. My parents have visited and so I have something to do everyday instead of blogging which means I blog less but I have more interesting things to blog about when I do get around to it.

I have been to the highly recommended Aichi World Expo I have literally hundreds of Aichi Expo pictures that I`ll put up very soon for you along with a description of the day. I have been traumatised by musical robots, brought near to tears in the French pavillion and seen a vision of the future where toy robots play with young children before rebelling and decapitating their former masters.

Today we took the parents to Nara to see the massive buddha and to be attacked by the crack(-er) addicted deer. The cherry blossom was out in all its fat and fluffy force. A great day.

Though I had gushed about NHK E being my favourite television channel on Japanese TV, I may have to retract that as I am now watching an English study program with two Japanese girls and an American bloke set in an appartment watching the processed, manufactured (and now defunct) tweeny group S Club 7. You travel thousands of miles and still no escape.

The one thing that got me was that skater boy bloke was trying to explain some cockney rhyming slang (apples and pears = stairs etc.) that the up-for-anything Essex girl Rachel said to her group mate wearing a suit for an important interview. She told him, “You`re looking a bit Tony Blair” “obviously” meaning Tony Blair=debonaire but skater boy presenter explained it as being similar to saying, “Oh Japanese girl - you`re looking a bit Jennifer Lopez”

You`re looking a bit Jennifer Lopez? What the hell does that mean? Cockney rhyming slang for PEZ sweets? Cockney rhyming slang for des res? If you`re going to get a bloke explaining gutter English to Japanese, get a bloke who understands gutter English for Pete`s sake! Like me for example! Now where did I put those weights?

The second day of my parent`s holiday was spent in Kyoto. We got caught in a freak tropical monsoon complete with hailstones whilst visiting the Kinkakuji temple on the left. It is too early for the cherry blossom in Kyoto although it is starting to come out in Osaka. Hopefully we`ll see them tomorrow when we go to Osaka castle.

The most interesting thing about my parents coming to Japan is seeing culture shock from another perspective and being reminded about how different everything is. An interesting newly-arrived-in-Japan blog I often read is Man in Japan I have been asked why they “read backwards?” I answered why do we read from the left? They have had problems with getting on buses (from the back), train ticket validating machines (The ticket`s disappeared Simon!) and perhaps most importantly finding the flush button on public toilets. Dangerous stuff.

This is part of a meal in a izakaya again we ate today with my parents of soba noodles with tofu salad and edamame beans. The starter was squid and spinach which they both (miraculously?) managed to keep down.

My parents arrived in Japan this morning from England. Fortunately not suffering from jetlag, we embarked on a shopping trip to Osaka city centre, got stuck on a newly opened ferris wheel which just after crossing the highest point mysteriously started to go back up again. My mother insists on speaking high-speed English to mystified Japanese waiters whilst pressing empty bottles into their hands. Nonetheless she has ingested green tea, squid and seaweed without too much fuss. My dad is also doing well being the older model of the quaisi family human food dustbin.

Quote of the day is from my mum with, “I`ve got yen Simon!” Yes you do.