If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

As promised ages ago, this is a picture of a local Pachinko Parlour (AKA Japanese Pinball Gambling). This chain in particular likes to stick large models of Gorillas on the top of the building in various surreal poses such as inside a UFO above.

In my experience the flashier the display outside, the better they are at taking your money and the worse you will do at that centre. Therefore these bizarre yet relatively low tech displays are both amusing and comforting. False hope?

Some arse bandits at large in Osaka

If you press your hands together flat, wrap your little finger and the one next to it around each other so that you seem to be making the shape of a gun with the remaining two fingers and thumb and then stick it as far as you can up sensei`s arse this is the height of hilarity for the Japanese 6th grade student. As a reply to one of my comments on another blog so succinctly stated. Funny like cancer.

If this happened in the workplace I`d have grounds for sexual assault and a huge compensation payment. Because they`re kids they can get away with it can they? I can still feel his violation some six hours later. There are some places you just don`t stick your fingers and this is one of them. I can`t hit them because they`re only 11. But I want to.

This is the all powerful Japanese Obaachan.

This is a link to a funny article in the Japan times about how to learn Japanese - for example:

As a result, much of Japanese communication is a series of sentences that are canned statements. “It’s hot today” in summer (”Atsui desu ne”) and “It’s cold today” in winter (”Samui desu ne”) are common greetings. Once you have these two phrases mastered, you’ll be able to greet anyone on any day of the year, since all days are either “hot” or “cold,” according to the Japanese. See? It’s easy. Who said it had to be interesting?

If the link field isn`t working you can find it here

This is my attempt at a time delay shot taken from a hotel on the outskirts of Osaka city.

I managed to watch the European Champions League Football Cup final between AC Milan and Liverpool last night as it was on terrestrial TV albeit at 3:30 in the morning. I woke up at 3:15 and watched the first 45 minutes. With Liverpool down 3-0 and a full day ahead of me at work I decided, like the true Liverpool fan I am, to go back to bed and comiserate. I therefore missed the 3 goal comeback and penalty shootout victory although I recorded it and watched the first 100 minutes or so before the DVD decided to cut out.

When I was living in Germany in 2001 I managed to watch the UEFA Cup Final between Liverpool and CD Alaves which Liverpool won 5-4. This is the second division European cup behind the Champions Leeague. Like the true Liverpool fan I am, I only found out that Liverpool were playing in the final on the day itself literally five hours before kick off and from the local British army radio station stationed in Osnabruck. The final was being held in Dortmund which was a 20 minute train journey away. Like the true Liverpool fan I am, I rushed off down to the city to see if I could get tickets. I stood in a queue in pouring rain for an hour and a half for tickets, met some Liverpool fans and proceeded to get rip roaringly drunk in the temporary street market bars the city had cunningly decided to erect.

I don`t remember much of the match itself due to alcohol related memory loss but one feature before it stands out. In a bid to expel from my bladder the litres of lager I had consumed, I went to the toilets in the stadium. They were packed with Liverpool supporters with the same goal in mind. With no space at the urinals or in the cubicles they had proceeded to use the sinks as toilets. I was waiting for a space at the urinal when a large fan next to me said “Use the sink!” This wasn`t so much an idea proposal as in, “Why don`t you use the sink?” but a command whose refusal would be punished with instant death. “Use the sink” he commanded and I did. Liverpool may be a great football team but the fans scare the shit out of me.

Good luck to the Mighty Reds against AC Milan tonight. I hope they don`t cut the TV off early for you.

Picture the scene. Your beloved Hanshin Tigers baseball team have come back in the penultimate inning from a 5-2 defeat to lead 6-5 with one inning to go. Everyone including the alcoholic demon and Hanshin fan Billiken above are watching at the ground or on TV to see how the game will end and then the network decides to stop programming at 8:45 to show a variety show with “celebrities” eating food. If they did this in England with football there`d be a riot.

A big Well Done to those who spotted the incredible case of the disappearing blog. I changed my template and saved it and in the process cut half of it off. I didn`t notice until Reiko told me at 11:30 at night. It took me ages to get it back. The blogger template is a fickle mistress. Some of you are posting comments that get emailed to me though I can`t see them on the blog. How the hell are you doing that please?

Cheers.