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Today is the occasion of my 25th birthday. Although many people will say they don`t feel any different to when they were 18, 21 or 23 I believe this is wrong and I do. You move on - friends have gone elsewhere and new ones have come in, and you have a wealth of experiences - whether it is at the work out in the real world or immigration office. Of course being in Japan or any foreign country gives you untold treasures of experiences. Mentally I have (stutteringly?) developed and physically I have gained girth. The latter not necessarily being a bad thing being previously Simon “The rake” Quaisi.

This is the first birthday I have blogged - my blog having begun the first day of my life in Japan on June 22nd 2004 although the first birthday abroad was my 21st when I was studying in Essen in Germany. The one good thing about my birthday I like is that the year tells me how old I am. For instance in 2005 I am 25 in 2001, I was 21 and in 2009 I am 29. Yet more proof I have a small mind.

In the last few days I have been playing dodgeball with the kids. I have learnt from previous mistakes and am now a bit of a dodgeball king. In one move I like to name “Flying Fury” I threw the ball at one kid and it bounced off him and hit another one and then dropped to the floor.

Of course being the biggest target on the field (AKA I am slow) I get hit a lot. They also have a tactic where they get some first years to talk to me and then hit me in the back when I`m not looking. They`re crafty these kids.

Here`s a melon I saw in a supermarket carved as a flower.

Having lived in Japan for a mere 10/11 months I am learning how to speak the language to avoid confusion when on my own, to better myself and (most importantly) to know when people are talking about me. I am now surrounded when at home by three women - Reiko and her sister and mother. Her father is in another city in Japan at work.

Learning a foreign language involves a lot of copying and imitating. This is especially true when you are not formally learning it through a course but are instead by your own choice or not immersed in the language daily .

Living with three women I hear and learn a large proportion of my Japanese by listening to the family communicate. Of course they use expressions of a feminine nature which when used by a member of the opposite sex sound like I am emulating Julian Clary AKA The fairy.

I often get told I am a camp by the expressions I (unintentionally) use. This is made worse by the average Japanese male in comparison. The average Japanese male is rude, self obsessed and mentally never progresses past puberty. If I ask the train station manager for assistance with a sumimasen and thank you, I sound like a 60 year old women. A Japanese man on the other hand (apart from not asking for assistance in the first place) would thrust a map under the nose of a worker and jab at the desired destination until the worker relented and found it out for him. In a restaurant if I ask for a glass of water I nod in a gesture of thanks. A Japanese man would turn and blow cigarette smoke in the waiters eyes. It`s just what they do.

Being English I am brought up on a certain level of manners which if not the airs and graces of an aristocratic duke, is above the stone age manners of a Japanese man. It`s just this politeness, combined with my women`s Japanese, will soon have me batting for the other team.

These are some air conditioning pipes on the side of a building with a lamp post. This is what I meant when talking about bad photoblogs. Am I being pretentious? I like the shapes and lines but it`s an air conditioner and a lamp post. But you don`t just want pictures of temples do you? Please say you don`t just want pictures of temples.

I live in a strange place. Well not strange in the strictest sense of the word but although I live in Japan`s second largest city, I live in an area of it where it`s not so highly residentially and industrially developed. A five minute walk in any direction from my house will have me passing any number of small to medium-sized fields and farms growing root vegetables, orange trees and the like such as the one above. Note the man`s traditional headgear.

For lack of anything better to do, I went to Google translate and translated the second paragraph of the last post into Japanese and then back into English to see what would happen. And here it is:

As a portion of contract in the school me always the tie in the body attaching the け れ when becoming, my company has the city assembly board of education. As for present me the shirt () the tie of the fake Hermes (as for the image which should continue. With we who arrive in the school with preparation of the rainy season when it has the humidity which comes temperature now are in 20 of center. My tie it is hot very and it did that therefore I am taken, according to letter the teacher who when it was, goes back and forth the room simultaneously it called representation from the Osaka board of education to me clearly at 10 second later. The dark aspect of mythical power of the tie makes finally clear. But as for me two lessons, next it worked in the English of evening school.

Reiko has a blog as well now but she writes in Japanese. I use altavista to translate it but what I get out of it is similar to the nonsensical babble as above.

In Japanese, “sai” (from Saimon or Simon ) means rhinocerous so when she talks about me it`s always comes out in the translator as, “The rhinocerous said……” I thought she secretly hated me. Maybe she does.

Spotted in Osaka city centre.

Friday 13th passed relatively succesfully. The school I visited for the first time was full of happy genki kids which is perfect. I got there early whilst riding perhaps the most packed train I have ever taken. Tokyo subways have recently implemented women-only compartments to prevent the wandering hands of the Japanese man although any movement in such a squashed and compact environment could be misconstrued as an improper touch or sexual attack. The subways in Osaka have had these for a long time.

As part of the contract my company has with the City Council Board of Education, when at the schools I always have to wear a tie. Today I arrived at the school in shirt and (fake Hermes) tie (picture to follow.) We are at mid 20 degrees temperature now in preparation for the humid rainy season to come. The teachers explicitly told me to take off my tie as it was so hot so I did and literally ten seconds later a representative from the Osaka board of education came into the room. The dark side of the mythical powers of the tie are finally revealed. I only did two lessons and then worked at an English school in the evening.

The tie cheats me but I am also cheating on you dear reader. As well as keeping this diary I have a pocket diary I use for a schedule. It`s all in Japanese which adds to the allure of the whole thing. I had no use for one before - Don`t forget to wake up a eleven and drink beer Simon hardly needs meticulous planning- but with a hectic work schedule taking me around all parts of Osaka it makes me feel more organised. Please forgive me for my duality.