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This is Isabelle taken by Reiko. I`m not very good at taking pictures of people (though I`m okay with rust) and this is by far the best picture of Isabelle yet.

All the Japanese of the older generation in the family aren`t calling her Isabelle but by her Japanese name Hannah (Hana means flower.) I had an argument about this with Reiko as her name isn`t Hana but Isabelle. I told her nobody calls me John.

She explained Isabelle is a strange name for Japanese people. Isabelle conjures up an image of a blue eyed, blonde and curly haired maiden. It`s too much and a bit embarrassing for them so they stick to the Japanese name. If she went to a Japanese school, she`d be called Hana. The name has Chinese characters and she would stick out less. I don`t know how I`d feel about that.

I sent the picture before to Reiko`s cousins who replied that it looked like Reiko`s dad. Strangely enough to Reiko`s mum this was an insult on a par with telling us we`d given birth to a cross-eyed imp. She looks like Yoda to me though.

I`ve worked in a number of evening schools in Osaka and I`ve seen a lot of children who go to English schools and work at an intensity that is unnecesary for them.

I had one eleven year old girl at my old school doing English listening tests designed for Senior High school students. Another`s mother at the school I teach at now asked for the next set of homework cards they have to study from as early preparation even though they are in the middle of the previous set now.

In both these cases it is the mother who asked the school`s managers to do these things. In both these cases, the children were introverted and although they seemed to enjoy the lessons, they weren`t happy about being made to do practice exams designed for students seven or eight years their senior.

The managers have no choice of course. Like the pub owner who opens the door to the drunk and serves him beer until his wallet is empty, these schools rely on these kinds of mothers to support their business. If the schools don`t acquiesce to their needs, they`ll go elsewhere. And there are plenty of places willing to take them.

This isn`t only applicable to English schools. I asked them what other lessons they take and they all had three or four others - swimming club, cram school, athletics, calligraphy classes, flower aranging, maths and piano lessons among the mix.

As a parent to be, I can understand that the parents want their children to be the best they can possibly be, yet a child needs space to grow and play before they are robbed of this freedom and crushed by an onslaught of exams, work and deadlines in their adult life. Why crush them when they are still young and carefree?

Today is the two year anniversary of my time in Japan and also the second birthday of this humble blog. I always wondered what I`d do with this blog if I moved out of the country - Undercover in Japan doesn`t sound so good when you`re blogging from Croydon.

I`m definitely here for a bit longer as I recently successfully changed my visa status to a spouse visa with a multiple reentry permit setting me back only 50 quid or 100 dollars.

Getting the visa was pretty straightforward mainly as I went with Reiko which smoothed some of the problems over whilst reducing my role to smiling and mumbling thank you`s.

Some of the requirements were bizarre. These included a detailed explanation of how we met and photos of us together. I chose the serene one visiting a temple with the family instead of a photo of me drunk with a large sweet draped across my nose for a moustache.

So I`ll be here longer and the blog will live on with hopefully some more interesting experiences mostly involving vomit with the baby coming. Please join me.

An English guy in Nyugun has a photo of the most offensive T-shirt ever. Providing a reason why knowing English swear words would be a good idea before clothing your child.

An Englishman in Osaka provides some humorous Osaka related haiku.

This is Kuidaore Ningyou, a large doll in front of the Kuidaore restaurant in Shinsaibashi. It`s one of the symbols of Osaka along with Tsutenkaku and Osaka Castle.

Thanks to the World Cup it`s been kitted out in full Japan gear in support of the Japanese team.

Japan unfortunately lost to Australia in their first match 3-1 with Australia`s three goals coming in the last six minutes. They play Croatia today.

Come on Japan!

You`re not allowed to praise your wife`s dress sense or beauty in front of others unless you want a scathing look from her. The Japanese subscribe to the maxim, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.”

This works the other way of course. If somebody tells Reiko I`m handsome, she`ll answer, “Simon? No, he`s got a big nose and arms the size of a chicken`s leg.” even if she thinks I`m handsome as well.

This level of insincerity is startling and unnerving especially when you`re being put down by your own wife in front of others. I at least hope this is Japanese culture and not my wife`s unvented feelings.

The same thing happens with the baby. “Your baby must be really cute when she comes out” to which Reiko answers, “No, she`ll inherit my wide face and Simon`s big nose.” Even when we both know she`ll be the most beautiful baby in the world.

I`ve written constantly about my love for the rust and grime of Osaka. Here`s another picture of a rusted sign.

You may think that that these things are exotic and bewildering. Possibly explaining the tale of a warlord overrun by fearless samurai. Perhaps they`re wearing blue.

From what little I can understand it`s telling you not to do something. Regarding trailers. A lesson for plot spoilsports the world over.

Japan are playing Australia tonight in the World Cup. As it`s in Germany and we`re in Japan, it kicks off at 10:00 pm here. Nevertheless there`s a lot of anticipation in the air.

Japan is the higher ranked (18th to Australia`s 42nd) although with America bewilderingly placed at 6th in the world, these ratings shouldn`t be taken too seriously.

Japan`s fetching kit as above comes in the also bewildering colour of Samurai Blue. I never knew samurai wore blue.

This is the newest picture of the baby taken on Friday. Not a lot has happened since the last scan taken last week except she`s gained 100 grammes. She`s at 36 weeks now which means we`re in the last straight. Reiko`s getting sick of carrying around all the extra weight.

By Japan`s interesting standards, Reiko`s will be pregnant for 10 months instead of the normal 9 in the West as they measure the length of time from the woman`s last period instead of the date of conception.

According to the doctor, she should come out around the semi-final of the World Cup. He asked me what I`d do if Reiko was giving birth the same time that England were playing in the final. Well….