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I was asked to do an interview for Expat Interviews and here it is reproduced for you.

Your name:

Simon

-Where were you born?

Poole, England

-Are you living alone or with your family?

I live with my family - My wife, my newborn baby Isabelle and my mother-in-law.

-In which country and city are you living now?

I live in Osaka, Japan.

-How long have you been living there?

I`ve been living here for 2 years.

-What is your age?

I`m 26

-When did you come up with the idea of living in another country and what factors helped your decision?

I decided to come to Japan as my wife`s English visa was running out and I wanted to stay with her. I was also in a job that I didn`t enjoy and as I had already lived in France and Germany, the idea of going out into the world again really appealed to me.

-Was it hard to get a visa or a working permit?

I came to Japan on a Working Holiday Visa which means you are allowed to do most jobs in Japan in order to pay for your travel. It was relatively easy to get and is recommended as a foot in the door approach to Japan.

-How do you make your living there? Do you have any type of income generated?

I teach English with a company that has contracts with local kindergartens, an elementary school and runs its own English schools. The previous job I got after searching for four long months.

I definitely underestimated how long it would take to get a job. Places in Japan look for teachers with experience and having none it took me a while to find a company willing (desperate enough) to take me on. Once I had the experience on my resume, finding subsequent jobs has been much easier. I can recommend www.gaijinpot.com although the best place to look is local magazines targeted at Westerners - (Kansai Time Out, Kansai Scene, Kansai Flea Market for the Kansai area of Japan.

-Do you speak the local language and do you think it’s important for expats to speak the local language?

I have a command of basic Japanese although for two years in Japan, it`s not as good as it could be. It`s enough to survive definitely. I do suffer the daily dilemma of having to work out whether the liquid in the bottle is soda or bleach.

Japan has really embraced English into its society which means that you can go up to anyone under the age of 70 in Japanese society from a homeless man to an executive and be able to have a pretty decent conversation with them. Could you say the same thing about yourself and Spanish? Or French?

If you don`t speak the local language however you are eternally forced to the bottom rung of the ladder unable to communicate and function even at a most basic level so it`s very important to learn the local language wherever you are.

-Do you miss home and family sometimes? What do you do to combat homesickness?

I do miss England a lot especially my family and friends grassy open fields and Branston Pickle. The internet has been excellent in combatting homesickness. I can do free video calls home thanks to Skype which has been a godsend with the newborn baby and I check BBC news a lot to keep up with the times back home.

-Do you have other plans for the future?

My future plans aren`t very concrete. I know I don`t want to teach English for the rest of my life but I`m enjoying the experience of living in a foreign country. I recently got a spouse visa valid for three years so we shall see.

-What about housing, have you bought, or are you renting a home? How much do you pay for it?

I am fortunate enough to live with my mother in law who I get on well with. We pay rent to her but it is cheaper than renting privately.

-What is the cost of living there?

The cost of living is quite low. Tax from my salary comes to around 5 per cent which means I get to keep the bulk of it. Food is cheap but beer is more expensive than back home. Go for whisky. Osaka is supposed to be one of the most expensive cities in the world but like anywhere, it`s how you go about living and eating. You can eat well and cheaply in Osaka easily.

-What do you think about the locals and how do they treat foreigners like you?

In a big city like Osaka, we`re pretty much left alone. There are many of us and there`s nothing very exciting or odd about us.

-What are the positive and negative aspects of living in that country?

A positive aspect is definitely the food. It`s delicious. The Japanese and especially Osakans are crazy about food and there are so many varieties. I`ve been here for two years and today was the first time I ate shabu shabu. I eat many types of Japanese food but there are so many things out there. I guess I`ll never eat everything there is.

A negative aspect would be the　lack of heating in houses in the winter and the intense heat and humidity in the summer. It takes some getting used to.

-Do you have any tips for our readers about living in that country?

Come with an open mind and don`t be afraid to try new things. Bypass the Mcdonalds for example and go in the local shop nearby. It`ll be far tastier and your life will be richer for having tried something different.

-Do you have any favorite Web sites or blogs about anything related to that country and/or living there?

Undercover in Japan - My blog
An Englishman in Osaka - An Englishman. In Osaka.
Tokyo Times - Weird News from Tokyo
Mutant Frog - Opinion on Japan

Baby Isabelle is a month old and it`s gone really quickly. She`s getting stronger and stronger. Especially her cries.

During her tantrums to relieve herself of her dirty nappy/hunger/general boredom, she puts on a face of the deepest despair like a woman whose childhood love has been killed in the war. Of course it`s also completely adorable.

And completely annoying at the same time. I try singing to her to calm her down and realised that the song Rock a Bye baby:

Rock a bye baby on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.

isn`t a gentle lullaby designed to ease the baby to sleep but a threat to the child that if she`s not quiet, her parents will stick her up a large tree where she`ll fall to her death.

I wondered what it would be like if I could scream out, “Waah Waah”, to get things the way I wanted them just like it`d be good to drop my trousers whilst walking the dog, defecate in the road and get the dog to clean up after me. It would certainly be liberating.

The Japanese have the habit of clapping their hands furiously when something funny is said. This would be endearing if it didn`t bring to mind seals begging for food. I always want to scream out, “Honk honk honk” when they do it.

There`s a large number of magazines in Japan targeted at the foreign community. These offer excellent articles on living in Japan, the history and with the localised ones, area specific news and info. Many of these have websites and should be of interest to anyone interested in my site or coming to visit/work in Japan. For the Kansai Area there are:

Kansai Scene - A free semi-serious monthly magazine with good articles on the Kansai area of Japan.

Kansai Time Out - Magazine at 300 yen which has excellent articles on Kansai and takes itself very seriously

Kansai Flea Market - A free weekly classifieds paper which is also available as a free PDF download on the site. Lists ads for appartments, job positions and For Sales.

Japanzine - A free non-serious nationwide magazine targeted at the younger gaijin

1: The foot. When you visit a Japanese school, you must change your shoes into the plastic green slippers they provide for you. The Japanese foot is around 5 centimetres smaller than the Western one meaning you must force your bulging foot into the narrow front whilst leaving the back of your foot hanging over the edge. Try jumping in it and suffer your very own Rooney-like metatarsal injury.

2: Ears. Ask 30 Kindergarteners to count to 20 with you and see how long your ears can stand the onslaught. And how long until the ringing ends. I can`t hear you! No really I can`t…

3: Throat. Lead 5 high tempo English classes in a row and feel your vocal chords torn to shreds

4: Cocaine Addiction. Because lets face it do you think it`s easy being lively and talkative for hours on end. Your name`s Kouki? Wow! That`s the most interesting thing anyone`s said to me today etc. etc.

5: Exposure to every single virus imaginable. Teach over 400 children a week, most of whom have only recently learned to control their bladder and are in the process of learning that placing fingers, game chips and pens into their mouths isn`t socially acceptable behaviour and the bird flu threat suddenly pales in comparison.

6: Ostracisation from the family. Got a school to teach at in the morning? It`s an hour away. Got another in the afternoon? Another hour. Going home? Yet another hour. You`ll leave home at 7:00 and come back at 9:00. Congratulations, you have just become a Japanese salaryman. And your family hates you.

These are train passes for Osaka`s network of trains. Please be assured I haven`t become a train geek. I spend around two hours a day on a train which works out around 24 hours every fortnight travelling to the many schools I teach at. This means I end up with a large mound of cards.

Some of these passes are very colourful and I present them here for your delectation.

Another Japanese comedy video found via the ever mighty TV in Japan who I`ll let do the talking.

There are simple times in life when things just seem to fall into place.

Moments where everything works suddenly: lights change perfectly on your way home, unexpected short windfalls of money found under seat cushions, the Tivo actually recorded what you wanted and didn’t cut anything off.

This is one of those times.

The following clip contains so much of what makes TV in Japan itself that I will not burden you with a description.

Be nourished in its wonder.

Via TV in Japan

I find it easier to talk to Isabelle in Japanese than in English. This is a very dangerous avenue to go down as she needs no help listening to Japanese with it surrounding her and myself being the only native English speaker she comes into contact with.

It`s partly because I feel less silly saying “What`s the matter baby Bill?” in Japanese than in English. Without wishing to offend Japanese, it`s a better language than English to talk babyish in just as Russian is a far better language to have an argument in, French is a great language to talk romantically in and Welsh is the best way to cover your foe in phlegm should you so wish.

It`s very hard. Even if I talk English to her I get her to agree with me in Japanese. Of course I don`t have in depth conversations about the human condition with her but tell her it`s hot isn`t it or ask her how she is or just berate her for not being able to control her bowel functions when I`m trying to sleep.

Thanks to the long hours of my job, I`m only around her for a short time anyway and when I do we converse I monologue in Japanese when she should be listening to English. I`ve read on forums of how children born of English and Japanese parents often can understand English but can`t or don`t want to speak it. Whether that is because of the difficulty in learning two languages concurrently or a desire not to speak it I do not know.

Isabelle,

Today you turned two weeks old. You`ve grown and changed a lot in this short time alone. You can keep your eyes wide open and follow imaginary objects around the room for hours at a time. You`ve looked at me in the eyes properly once so far. That was a magical moment for me which I`m dying you`ll repeat soon.

I`ve tried playing games with you but you don`t seem interested. I got you out with three strikes when we tried baseball and your penalty kick skills need a lot of work. I tried some easier games like sticking my tongue out and hoping you`d copy the action but you`re too much of a lady to do that.

Your umbilical cord`s stump fell off last week and as per Japanese tradition the hospital provided a small box to put the black shrivelled lump in. Disappointingly I never got to eat the placenta or even look at it.

I`m away from you most days as paternity leave is a concept so outrageous to Japanese people that they scream out in disbelief when I explain it to them. When I am home I try to attend to you as best I can but it`s taking a bit of time to get used to the fact that my pre-Isabelle life won`t ever be back.

Your grandfather came back from Matsuyama to see you and insisted on sticking a dummy (pacifier) in your mouth whenever you started to cry. I was initially against force feeding you plastic nipple substitutes but the silence that occurs as you focus your attention on furiously sucking it means my stance has changed. We`ve only got one. We need more.

Please give us many more fortnights.

Love,

Daddy
x

This is a collection of segments in between a children`s television show on NHK in Japan. These Pythagorean Switches are outstanding and the first time I saw one, I was amazed and in awe at the complexity and mischievous personality involved in these.

Via Wikipedia

The Rube Goldberg devices that appear during the beginning, ending, and between each corner (segment) are called Pythagorean Apparatuses (ピタゴラ装置, Pitagora Souchi?) in Japan. The main focus of the program is a puppet show, but the subject is mainly advanced by the small corners. World phenomena, principles, characteristics, and the like are introduced in an entertaining way. As a feature of the show “Pitagora Suicchi” is sung as an eye catch for each important point.

I have been looking for this video for the last 18 months when I happened upon it via the mighty Higo Blog. Much kudos to him. If you`re not enchanted during the full 14 minutes, you must be dead to the world.

(Edit:) If it`s not working as it seems to be as of this writing, the link is here