1: The foot. When you visit a Japanese school, you must change your shoes into the plastic green slippers they provide for you. The Japanese foot is around 5 centimetres smaller than the Western one meaning you must force your bulging foot into the narrow front whilst leaving the back of your foot hanging over the edge. Try jumping in it and suffer your very own Rooney-like metatarsal injury.

2: Ears. Ask 30 Kindergarteners to count to 20 with you and see how long your ears can stand the onslaught. And how long until the ringing ends. I can`t hear you! No really I can`t…

3: Throat. Lead 5 high tempo English classes in a row and feel your vocal chords torn to shreds

4: Cocaine Addiction. Because lets face it do you think it`s easy being lively and talkative for hours on end. Your name`s Kouki? Wow! That`s the most interesting thing anyone`s said to me today etc. etc.

5: Exposure to every single virus imaginable. Teach over 400 children a week, most of whom have only recently learned to control their bladder and are in the process of learning that placing fingers, game chips and pens into their mouths isn`t socially acceptable behaviour and the bird flu threat suddenly pales in comparison.

6: Ostracisation from the family. Got a school to teach at in the morning? It`s an hour away. Got another in the afternoon? Another hour. Going home? Yet another hour. You`ll leave home at 7:00 and come back at 9:00. Congratulations, you have just become a Japanese salaryman. And your family hates you.