Pregnancy is a strange thing. It turns normally sane women into blubbering maniacs when confronted with pictures of babies and cots with Miffy themed furniture. It also compulses them to buy underwear large enough to house several families of refugees of war.
I don`t wish to mock the miracle of the all mighty life giver. It`s just the experience haas become more real thanks to the repeated trips to the baby clinic and the myriad of baby clothing shops. Reiko can quite happily spend an entire afternoon in these putting items in and out of the basket until two hours later she`ll exclaim “You know what? Let`s get them at the other shop , they`re cheaper there” leaving me to burst out into tears.
The lack of resources on the internet for foreigners giving birth in Japan is noticeable as well. I`ve found Tokyo with Kids (I`m not in Tokyo) and the gaijin pot forums. Anyone know of any other resources?
It can be hard – the doctor doesn`t speak to me anymore after his attempt at a conversation was harshly rebuked by me.
Where are you from in England?
Poole
Ah! Liverpool?
No, Poole.
That plus a lot of interesting words that I`m only beginning to learn in English let alone in Japanese such as episiotomy, breech birth and epidural block are creating a most unsettling experience.
Perineal massage with Vitamin E oil or pure vegetable oil beginning around the 34th week is an unproven way to make the perineum more flexible and reduce the need for episiotomy. (wikipedia.com)
Have fun!
It seems that a lot of folks I read are either pregnant, were pregnant or are dealing with a pregnancy in the family… Craziness – people are making babies everywhere!
I wish I could help with the Gaijin Pregnancy issue, but alas, I’m in Texas.
The experience for me was “hurry up and wait” in many instances… It seemed like it would take forever (the pregnancy in general I mean), then there were those last few weeks before the due date when I nearly drove myself nuts with “Do we have everything we need?” and “Am I forgetting anything?” This pretty much pushed me to list-making and checking-it-twice until we thought we were ready, then more waiting…
It was so strange… We go out for dinner, my wife says she feels tired and rather lethargic, we go home, get ready for bed. Fifteen minutes later, water breaks (or rather, trickles) and it’s time. Just like that. Pack all the stuff in the MPV, call the doctor, head to the hospital at 95 miles per hour (luckily it was about midnight, no traffic)… Get there, check in, get in the LDR, and… More waiting.
I don’t know if you plan on being in the room when your daughter comes, (what are the “norms” regarding this in Japan?) but brace your self for all the good stuff: Blood and all the stuff you’ve heard about, etc… When you look down and see a section of the top of your child’s head about as big as a 10 yen coin though all the muck, it will be worth it. I didn’t freak out, and I doubt you will either.
For the record, my wife pushed for a solid four hours until we realized that she wouldn’t be able to deliver vaginally, so she had a caesarian. It’s so odd to think that I saw my daughter’s head coming down, only to have her yanked out from the opposite direction!
Oh, and about well-wisher’s perineal massage suggestion: Midwives and doulas all seem to agree that it works. The old-school medical establishment (in the US, anyway) pretty much says it’s bunk, but many left-leaning OB/GYN types also will say that while the literature doesn’t really support it, it does *seem* a viable method of avoiding an episiotomy.
Totally with you on this one man. My wife is pregnant with our second child (first one to be delivered in Japan) and it is exactly the same as what you’ve been describing. We’ve been making weekly trips to baby stores for all the odds and ends we know we’re going to need, but then she will aburptly change her mind and say “we still have time…” Well yeah! We have a few months, so then why did you keep dragging me here every week!?! Sigh, babies, babies. I am excited for another child again though.