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I’ve been in Japan for almost 4 years without once going back. I want to go home. I want to have conversations with almost everybody I speak to in English rather than a minority of people. I want to be able to understand what the people at the next table, on the TV or my family are saying. I want central heating. My God I want central heating.
I want British comedy, news on time rather than a day or two late. I want to see my friends. I want Isabelle to speak English to me and hear English. I want a career without a glass ceiling. I never want to teach the 5th grade again. I’ll take the first grade though.
I want Branston Pickle, a roast dinner, fat chips drenched in vinegar and doused in salt. I want a decent doner kebab after a night on the lash. I want Reiko to realise she can be older and still have a decent career. I want a new life.
The newest building on the block in Osaka is Namba Hips. This is an amusement arcade centre with restaurants and pachinko. What makes it stand out apart from its unique shape is the freefall ride starting at 74 metres above ground level.
One ride costs 1000 yen or about 5 dollars. Below is a TV excerpt about it.
Hello and a Happy 2008 to you all. I’m back from an extended holiday in Oita in Kyushu. We were supposed to stay in a cottage in the middle of nowhere but got caught in a snowstorm with balding city tyres on our car and called out JAF (the Japanese Automobile Federation) to put chains on our tyres to save us.
Instead of that, we stayed at an onsen hotel. The hot spring water was excellent and we had a great time in the snow.
On New Years Eve we went to a local shrine at midnight where we ate zenzai which is a kind of Japanese sweet dish. After that I helped make mochi by pounding rice with a large hammer. The speed kept on increasing and as I was a little drunk by then it got very difficult to do. Here is a video of people making mochi. Wait until the end where it gets really dangerous.
It was great to do all of that. I had wanted to go to a shrine on New Year’s Eve every year I’ve been here but was never able to until now. I’m happy I could do it on my last chance.
I’ve spent almost four years in Japan. Couple that with the year I spent in France and Germany and the three years in the wilderness in Wales and it totals 7 out of my 9 years of adulthood in a foreign country.
With that in mind it’s time to go home. Real home. I had a meeting with my boss today and we agreed I’d finish my contract until March and then I’m a free agent.
I’m going back to England for a change of career. The one downfall of living in a foreign country is that there is a glass ceiling to what you can earn if you don’t speak the language fluently. I have no desire to be an English teacher my whole life.
I’m going back in April alone to look for a job and find somewhere to live so that my wife can get a visa and come with Isabelle hopefully a few months later.
People I talk to about this think I’m crazy for wanting to go back to England. I have a lingering suspicion that if I had gone home once over the last four years I would think the same. But I have to push through the glass ceiling. Especially with the family now.
And what about the blog. Do I get a new one or trim the title down even further to Undercover? Undercover in London doesn’t have the same ring to it…
Yoroshiku onegaishimasu is the king of all Japanese words. Having many meanings from Nice to meet you, please do this favour for me or please don’t kill me. It has incredible power. Especially when talking with Japanese colleagues.
For example, “Please could you fill out this form for me [deep breath] yoroshiku onegaishimasu.” A little switch goes on in their head. Their pupils contract and they have one purpose in life from that moment on. To fulfill your request as soon as they can before they die.
I’ve only tried it out with small requests - Could you find me some rubber bands? Please help me with the freak student in the fifth grade. It’s had instant results. But it needs testing with some more powerful requests:
I don’t have to come into work today do I yoroshiku onegaishimasu?
Give me ALL your money [deep breath] yoroshiku onegaishimasu!
Kill him NOW yoroshiku onegaishimasu!
Try it yourself. Find a Japanese and ask them a request. You don’t even have to know them. And take over the (Japanese) world.
I went to see J-Pop Band Sukima Switch with Reiko’s sister yesterday in their arena tour. It was my first time at a Japanese group’s gig in Japan and I enjoyed it.
The actions of the fans were notable. For the up-tempo songs, every person would clap one particular way for the verses, when it got to the chorus they’d double the speed. When it came back to the verse they’d slow down again. This happened for nearly every song. I was surprised at the rigid formality of the fans.
Still, they were all having a good time. Some fans tried to do double speed whenever they wanted but were quickly forced to adopt by the thousands of others keeping in time with each other.
In my Japanese lesson we went through the story of Taro and the turtle. In it Taro helps a turtle being bullied by children and in return the turtle takes him down to the bottom of a lake where he meets a beautiful princess.
He stays with her for a bit being really happy but one day he wants to go up to the top again. The princess gives him a present and tells him not to open it.
At the top he tries and fails to find his house. He asks a man walking around who says (with remarkable local knowledge) that a man called Taro used to live there 300 years ago. Taro opens the present and smoke comes out of it. When it dissipates he has aged considerably and has a long white beard.
When I read this for the first time, I thought what a sad story it was. Taro and his love are separated, Taro becomes homeless and ages into an old man. Reiko on the other hand thought it was a happy story as the couple had an extra long and happy relationship lasting 300 years. What do you think?
I’m reading an excellent book called Hitching Rides with Buddha by Will Ferguson. It’s about a Canadian who follows the Cherry Blossom Front in Japan by hitchhiking rides with Japanese.
In this way he gets a unique perspective on Japan from the conversations he has with his rides.
For example:
Japaneseman - Japan has 4 seasons
Will - Congratulations.
or
In Japan, people are often referred to not by their name but their role buy by the role they play. Mr Policeman. Mr Post Office. Mr Shop Owner. As a foreigner you play your role as the Resident Gaijin, like the town drunk or the Village Idiot.
Japan has a women’s volleyball team strong enough that it ranks in the top 10 of the world. Because of this it stages tournament after tournament at great expense in Japan and transmits them live during primetime evening hours?
In the last year, Japan has held numerous volleyball tournaments and failed in each one. This still hasn’t stopped their enthusiasm for the game.
Watching a game of volleyball is unique. The length of time has been greatly reduced with the new rules
PDF File.
It must be very intimidating for Japan’s opponents. Thousands of fans crowd inside a massive indoor stadium beating large cylindrical balloons together and screaming, “Nippon!” with all their might.
In one game Japan were losing. I watched a popular singer greeting the crowd from his microphone deep in the audience and cry out, “It’s our last chance to win the International Volleyball Championship for 4 years.” He had a manic conviction, nay desperation in his eyes.
“Don’t worry,” I replied, “the World Volleyball Championship is on in Tokyo next month. I’m sure you’ll get over it.”
