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This should be funny for anyone who has seen the British version of The Office. I’m applying for jobs in England from Japan which is pretty frustrating. So I was pretty happy when I saw this message urging me not to apply for a job in Slough.

Halloween. It’s a festival I’ve never celebrated in England. A festival that is rarely undertaken in England. Yet it is one I am supposed to celebrate on multiple occasions with children and friends with glee when in Japan.

A colleague asked me today if I was going to teach the kids about Halloween today and I said No. Mainly because Halloween can bite my arse.

How about some festival that applies to the times? Bonfire Night
From Wikipedia:

The plot, masterminded by Robert Catesby, was an attempt by a group of English conspirators to kill King James I of England, his family, and most of the aristocracy by blowing up the House of Lords in the Palace of Westminster during the State Opening of Parliament.

The plot failed and they were hanged, drawn and quartered. In celebration of this failed terrorist attempt, we burn bonfires and set off fireworks on Novembe.

I’m off to Shanghai tomorrow until Monday. Any recommendations where to go?

Cheers!

Teaching

Reading my feeds

Reading about how to be productive (instead of actually being productive)

Surfing YouTube

Searching for a new career

Finishing the excellent Dark Tower by Stephen King

Being a father

I`m in between jobs undertaking training in all parts of Osaka city (mostly a near-two-hour train journey away) so forgive the lack of quality well thought out mutterings.

In its absence can I recommend a few sites you might find of interest?

Cosmic Buddha discusses the interesting phenomena of Mayoral election signbaords.

Bloggers discuss Japan`s victory in the 2006 World Baseball Classic.

A directory of Japan Bloggers instead of this nobody`s blog.

Those wishing to read about traditional Japanese New Year customs and the like and who find them lacking here should go visit the excellent blue lotus blog who has three good posts up at the moment about it.

Two about New Year`s decorations and another about New Year Postcard`s

I on the other hand am at home this New Year neutralising my brain cells with alcohol instead of outside neutralising brain cells with alcohol. There are two programs on at the moment, each on different channels, providing a steady stream of traditional Japanese folk and modern pop songs which all seem to follow the same format. There`s four hours until 2006 and there seems to be no end in sight for the singing.

Tags: Japan, Osaka, Asia, Quaisi, Kansai, Expat, English, New Year, Japanese

I decided to give my blog a little clean-up for the New Year as is traditional for Japanese households - See Omisoka. I hope you like it.

With the coming of the New Year in Japan we`re all supposed to clean away the untidiness of the previous year in preparation for a new start.

A good idea naturally but for a man who prefers the structured chaos of a cluttered room over a pristinely clean one, and when faced with the might that is Reiko`s disapproving frown, it`s a regrettable one.

Tags: Japan, Osaka, Asia, Quaisi, Kansai, Expat, English, Omisoka, 2006

It`s the end of the year and so I thought I`d do a best of Undercover in Japan. I didn`t do one last year so today`s is for the six months I blogged in 2004. I`ll have one for this year in the next few days:

1: Nepalese pipe music

My experience with a meeting for foreigners as an excuse for Japanese people to show off their mediocre opera singing skills and a Nepalese man to put us all to sleep with his pipe music (and possibly rob us at the same time.)

2: My tale of cockroach war

A cockroach was spotted at nineteen hundred hours taking temporary shelter under a cushion on the floor. My sentry - Reiko - had spotted the enemy and after having alerted her commanding officer - myself - and taking refuge on a chair, battle lines were drawn…

3: English teaching tips

Concerning the fat kid and sports questions.

4: Japanese personals ads

These are found in the back of magazines for the foreign community in Japan. The Western/Japanese combination provides excellent comedic fodder. Sample ad:

Handsome WM seeks attractive JF who also has herpes. Lets not worry. Email….

5: More Japanse personals

6: Yet more Japanese personals

7: Tales of woe on the telephone.

“S. san? Do I look like a S. san for Pete`s sake? I`m English. Go away before I call the police.”

8: Christmas in Japan

All in all the Japanese have embraced it as it is a fun festival no matter what your beliefs. This is a time to give presents, thank those around you and decorate your house with bright lights. It`s no wonder they like it.

Tags: Japan, Osaka, Asia, Quaisi, Kansai, Expat, English, 2004, Best, Of

Merry Christmas!

I shall be turkeyless and marzipan and icing sugar-layered fruitcake-less this winter although I`ve been sent some Christmas puddings which is a small consolation.

Reiko`s mother has gone to Fukuoka for the weekend to look after a sick relation which means that I have been left to walk the dog for his daily walk. His is the earliest walk on the block and probably in Japan and his incessant howling in the morning is making me want to hurt him. I shall spend 05:00 opening the door for his walk in the freezing cold instead of opening my presents.

Merry Christmas.

Tags: Japan, Osaka, Asia, Quaisi, Kansai, Expat, English

I`m off to Hong Kong next year - January 22nd for a couple of days and I can`t wait. It was a close run thing though. The money minus the deposit had to be paid by today and with Reiko working it was left to me to pay it.

“Find a Sumitomo Mitsui Bank before 3:00 when banks close in Japan and pay the money to the company`s account with them!”, she told me.

“OK”, I replied, “Where are these banks?”

“You`ll find them. They`re everywhere”

It takes me 30 minutes to get to Namba AKA Osaka city centre. I realise 20 minutes into that journey that I`ve forgotten the piece of paper with all the details on which means I have to rush back home on the train, take a bus home and repeat the whole thing again. I got to Namba at 2:00 with an hour to find this SMBC bank. I found three UFJ`s, two MUFG`s and a Citibank. I finally found the bank and professed complete ignorance of banking ways in order to facilitate a quicker navigation of the payment procedure with help from limited English woman. But it all got done.

I haven`t been travelling for a long time and I`m starting to get the itch again. Living in Osaka and acting like a native working Mon-Sat and doing inane things on Sundays seems pointless. It`s with that in mind I`m going to Hong Kong on the 22nd and Tokyo on the 8th of Januay for Reiko`s friend`s wedding as well. It`s costing us 250 quid for the both of us to attend the main wedding ceremony but it`s worth it so I can face the gaijin dilemma every two minutes and I can fulfill a long held ambition to emulate one third of a quote from the excellent BBC comedy series The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin which goes something like this:

“I`ve drunk schnapps in Berlin, tequila in Mexico and sake in Tokyo.”

By the 9th, I will hopefully be one third through emulating this experience.

Tags: Japan, Osaka, Asia, Quaisi, Kansai, Expat, English, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Sake