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I`ve had attacks of diarrhoea for the past week. I won`t go into the gory trouser dropping details but I get an attack lasting about a day and then I can go up to two or three days feeling healthy and then I will wake up in the morning with stomach pains and then spend the majority of that day on the toilet again. This has happened on three separate occasions.

I bought some medicine yesterday which is Chinese herbs but Japanese medicine (don`t forget it`s Japanese medicine or the Japanese family you live with will all scorn you for insinuating that their medicine is foreign.) It is foul tasting pellets of which you take three at a time. The only problem is that one of the main active ingredients is creosote. I thought they used that to paint fences?