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As well as wanting to stick their fingers up my arse for some bizarre reason the Japanese children enjoy attempting to grab my penis and on other occasions tickle me. Let me once again assert that this is never solicited and is ALWAYS unwelcome.

I however learned that thanks to my less than perfect (or even adequate?) command of the Japanese language I may be unintentionally asking them to carry on doing these things. Instead of saying “STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!” I recently found out that I am saying this to them but the way I say it implies “(PLEASE DO NOT) stop this right now (I AM REALLY ENJOYING THIS)” I have quickly adapted after learning of this mistake such as the dominant race on any planet should be able to do. Angry voice, crossing of arms in internationally recognised X (for no) sign and STOP (said in English) with angry face and pointing. DO NOT TOUCH MY TESTICLES!