Sometimes it’s necessary to play the dumb foreigner – when you’re walking down a private street or when the NHK man comes for the TV license fee.
I was told by a colleague today that if someone accosts you in Japan, you should respond with, “Nihongo tabemasen” which means I don’t eat Japanese. Your assaulter will think you are an idiot and leave you alone.
This is great advice but I don’t think I could say it with a straight face.

Why don’t you just tell them to Fuck Off! They might not understand what you’re saying, but they will understand the body language. The guy at the post office understood me.
Well that`s a bit harsh. I`m for more of a gentler indirect mindset.
How about “nihonjin tabemasen”? XD
Haha! Duly noted, quaisi.
Haha, ‘Nihongo tabemasen’! Lol.
What about when people want to practise their English with you? For that, I have an Italian alter-ego who speaks no English. I studied Italian at school so I can fake it if I need to. (^_-)
LOL, that’s a very funny one.
I will try it next time I met that self-claimed Yakusa !
Maybe not…
Everyone whose ever seen a Hollywood film understands “fk off”, for better or worse. I’m sticking to “Nihongo tabemasen” too. If a Japanese person tried “sorry I don’t eat the English” in London, people would laugh in his face- proving yet again that Japanese politeness continues today more than the British version, self-train-seaters notwithstanding.
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