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Although I refrain from frequenting the typical American burger restaurant, I spend a large amount of time in (typically Western) coffee shops drinking overpriced burnt coffee beans. Through a process of trial and error I have therefore become able to confidently order in Japanese almost any coffee I wish although with the unrelenting heat of the Japanese summer/autumn I am only able to withstand iced coffee instead of the heated alternatives.

On Friday I went to Seattle Coffee and ordered an iced coffee (in near flawless Japanese I hasten to add,) “Aisu ko-hi- hitotsu onegaishimasu!” The girl behind the counter obviously overjoyed to be talking to a Westerner answered me back in English. This rather got on my goat. And she proceeded to demonstrate how well she spoke English by asking every question I had already answered in my earlier demand for the chilled beverage.

Ice Coffee?
Um, yes please
How many 1,2,3?
(Why are you paying for them love? There`s only one person here you know.) One please.
OK, That`ll be 300 yen
Thank you
Have a nice day
(Gaaaaaaaaa!)

Her English was pretty flawless - far better than my Japanese but I`m confident my Japanese was flawless. From an old Japan-zine article there is a list of handy phrases in Japanese for when you are in a, “situation that leaves you lost for words” such as “Tisshu wa mou takusan desu kara” - I don`t need any more tissues thank you or, “Watashino oshiri kara te wo dokete itadakemasen ka?” - could you please remove your hands from my buttocks? But best of all (and most applicable here) is “Sumimasen, tadade eigo wa hanasemasen.” - I`m sorry, I don`t speak English for free.

Technorati Tags: Japan, Osaka, Asia, Quaisi, Kansai, Expat, Coffee, Japanese, Phrase, English