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Today is Thanks for Working Day and a national holiday in Japan so I had a holiday again. We went to Diamond City (one kilometer up from Emerald City on the Yellow Brick Road) and I was reminded that we were going to a wedding on Saturday for one of Reiko`s friends in Kyoto. Apparently, if you are invited to a wedding you have to pay them 30,000 yen or 150 quid each. Luckily I am not invited to the wedding (story of my life) although Reiko naturally is but I`m going to the reception afterwards with her where you have to pay 8000 yen or 40 quid for the meal. Tight Japanese bastards.

I have a suit bought with the proceeds of Reiko`s mafia funded gambling addiction (Reiko I`m joking) which I haven`t worn yet but will wear to the party. Cue much buying of shirts, socks and ties for wedding and work needs. I am fearfulof two things about my presence at the wedding.

A: In fear, I will close my mouth be shunned by all her friends and be a weird young foreign boy and bring embarassment on Reiko.

B: In an attempt to avoid situation A, I will imbibe too much alcohol and be loud and drunk crazy young foreign boy and bring shame and embarassment on Reiko. (My money is on this one.)

Reiko also bought me a learn Japanese textbook so that I can put some of the large amount of free time to practical benefit. My last short-lasted surge broke down whilst trying to copy difficult hiragana characters. I know a lot of words and phrases now from the school children and also by being in the same situations over and over again (such as shops and restaurants) and hearing the same phrases ad nauseum.

It`s very hard to choose a textbook. There was a Japanese for busy people. Well you can cross me off that list for a start. I am a lazy bastard with too much free time. There were books written entirely in Japanese characters which if you can`t understand them yet defeats the purpose somewhat and others which were too easy or too difficult to plough through. We settled on one which seemed to cover grammar and verbs more instead of learning set phrases which in my opinion can only ever give you a superficial understanding of a language and can be useless if you don`t understand enough to comprehend the answer to the question. “Where can I find somewhere to get my hair permed?” being a particularly useless example I have seen.

But it`s even harder to buy a shirt in Japan or any clothes for that matter. The word Freak kept revolving around in my mind`s eyes. Shoes in Japan are measured in centimetres and most go up to 26 only. I am anywhere between 28 and 30. Buying a shirt has been an ongoing adventure which due to my abnormal arm length in Japan has lasted several months until today`s miraculous find. Buying jeans and trousers is also difficult as on the whole the Japs legs are inches shorter. I`m thinking of getting the kanji for Freak tatooed on my forehead. Backwards. Either that or becoming a fashion designer. Quaisi clothing. Now there`s a thought.