I`m coming to the end of my present contract with my company which is good as it`s starting to get a bit tiring. Travelling all over Osaka, teaching the same lessons over and over again to the same shitty little kids is wearing me down. They`re all a cocktail of end of year superiority mixed with pre-teen angst yet still immature enough to find “pen” amusing as it sounds like their idea of what penis sounds like “PEN IS, PEN IS” they giggle at me even when I tell them I`m unsure of what they`re on about.
They also mock my Japanese accent. I`m not so good with accents. My German one sounds half Russian and my French accent is atrocious. “Simon can speak English well can`t he.” they tell me in Japanese whereupon I grab their scrawny necks with my hand and thrust them face first into the wall until I hear their spines snap. “Better than your shitty English!” I reply safe in the knowledge I`d saved them from a lifetime working in the toilets of “alternative” nightclubs.
Of course I suffer from a lack of skills meaning my advert for positions wanted looks something like this.
UNTRAINED GAIJIN SEEKS HIGH PAID, SIMPLE POSITION. SHORT WORKING HOURS AND MINIMAL TRAVELLING PREFERRED.
“So repeat after me children. This is a pen.”
Tags: Japan, Osaka, Asia, Quaisi, Kansai, Expat, English, ESL, Teaching
you know if you say pen is fast it does kind of sound like it >.>
You need to relax, these kind of things are funny ^_^ Most of our Japanese class laughed the first time out teacher said maiasa.
You need serious anger management…
Please stop talking about how poor
your japanese is, only to then say
how good you can say something later.
Ordering coffee is easy because you
use a lot of loan words. Just don’t
_grab my scrawny neck_ for saying so.